Together
by AnonymousW
Summary: After Donna's brother gets into an accident, Harvey tries to be there for her. Loosely set after 5x09. [Darvey]
1. Chapter 1

Harvey arrived to work at 8 that morning, having managed to get a good night sleep, despite the chaos that Hardman's return had brought to the firm. He stopped his tracks on his way to his office, when he spotted Donna's empty cubicle, outside of Louis' office. He thought she must be somewhere around, before he continued his walk, greeting Gretchen and taking the schedule for the day. He had asked her to push all client meetings, in an attempt to focus his whole attention on fighting off Hardman.

As he made his way to Louis' office an hour later, he noticed the still empty cubicle, with no red head in sight.

'Morning Louis' Harvey greeted, trying to focus on what he had come to say.

'What can I do for you Harvey?' Louis asked.

'I wanted us to agree on the approach we're taking to kick Hardman out' he said, the surprise on Louis' face not escaping him.

'Euhm- I thought you wouldn't want to work with me after' Louis started babbling.

'Louis, there's an attack on our firm, and now is the best time to put those conflicts aside for the moment' Harvey said wisely.

Louis nodded, unsure what to say, before Harvey spoke again.

'Just think of ways we can fight him, and we'll exchange ideas in an hour. Sounds good?' he asked then.

'Yes Harvey' Louis said apologetically.

'Where's Donna?' Harvey said, finally able to voice what he had wanted to ask from the start.

'I don't know, she texted me at 4 this morning, telling me that something came up and she's taking a day off' Louis explained.

Harvey's face was immediately filled with concern. She never took a day off, even when she was sick, finally agreeing to leave early because of his constant nagging. The only day she had taken off, the one they took together, was the one following his father's death.

'Did you call her?' Harvey asked.

'Of course I did, but she wouldn't pick up' Louis said helplessly.

'Shit' Harvey muttered under his breath.

'What is it Harvey?' Louis asked, now completely worried.

'Something is wrong I can tell. I'll try to call her' he said, turning around to walk out.

'Let me know will you?' Louis called out from his office, as Harvey nodded, picking up his phone from his pocket and calling the first number on speed dial.

She picked up, but didn't say a word, as his heart started beating fast.

'Donna, are you ok?' he asked immediately.

'Yeah' she said, her voice trembling. 'Jason got into a horrible accident' she continued her voice weak.

'Where are you now?' he asked her hastily.

'New York Presbyterian' she said.

'I'm coming' he quickly answered, hanging up before she had time to continue her 'you don't have to'.

Harvey walked fast towards Gretchen's cubicle.

'Gretchen, I'm going out. I'm not sure what time I'll be back' he said.

'Is everything ok sir?' she asked, but he was long gone, walking towards Louis' office.

'Louis. Donna's brother was in an accident, and she's at the hospital. I'm going to go there' he informed him in small sentences.

'I want to come!' Louis argued.

Harvey took a deep breath. He really was hoping Louis wouldn't act this way.

'Louis please. Someone needs to stay here and work on fighting off Hardman' Harvey argued.

'Why not you? Everyone agrees you're the better lawyer anyway' Louis insisted.

'Because I wouldn't be able to focus when I'm here. Not when she's there' he confessed.

Louis didn't seem to believe him.

'Louis. I need you to trust me. This is not an attempt to win Donna back. She's made up her mind, she's sticking with you. I saw it in her eyes. But I need to do this. Please' he said.

Louis nodded, Harvey's words seemingly convincing him.

'Do what you have to do Harvey' Louis said. 'And say hi to Donna from me' he added.

'Thanks Louis. You can reach me by phone if you need something' Harvey added, before leaving the firm.

He indicated the destination to Ray, but not before stopping at Donna's usual coffee place to get her all time favorite and two bagels. The sharp wind from what was being called the coldest winter in New York hit him in the face as he stepped out of the car.

He walked into the hospital, addressing the woman in the lobby.

'I'm looking for Donna Paulsen? Her brother was in an accident she came here hours ago..' he started.

'Just give me a second sir' the short woman said.

He glanced to the right to find her sitting on a waiting chair, her head in her hands.

'It's alright I found her' he whispered, embracing himself to walk towards her.

His only weakness had always been seeing her hurt or sad, and the sight of her looking so defeated at that moment made his heart wince in pain.

'Donna' he said softly, causing her to raise her eyes to him.

Her eyes were red, glassy, as if she hadn't cried yet. He wanted to hold her, tell her everything was going to be ok, but decided to sit next to her instead.

'Here, have this' he said handing her the cup of coffee. She took it silently, their fingers brushing lightly.

A few seconds later, she looked at him, a small smile on her mouth.

'Thanks Harvey' she said, as he carefully yet affectionately put a hand on her back, feeling how cold she was.

'What happened?' he asked then, watching her bite her lower lip.

'He was hit by a car' she started, her voice breaking. 'He was skate boarding and a car just hit him and ran away' she barely said, as Harvey's hand drew circles on her back.

'And he's been in the operation room for hours and I don't know what-' she said before she choked.

'Hey, hey' he said gently, pulling her to his side. His arm wrapped protectively around her shoulder, as she buried her face in the side of his neck.

'It's ok, let it out' he whispered. 'It's ok' he repeated.

Harvey always knew how Donna tried to be strong for everyone around. She'd done it for him with his dad, for her brother and mother when her dad lost all their money; it's what she did. But he also knew that she must've been crumbling inside, despite her strong appearance. He started feeling her tears on his neck and the lapel of his suit.

'Your suit' she rumbled between sobs.

'I don't care' he whispered, holding her closer.

After a few minutes, she pulled away, looking deep into his eyes.

'I'm sorry' she said, causing him to raise his right eyebrow in surprise.

'What are you apologizing for?' he asked, his thumbs reaching to wipe the tears on both sides of her cheeks.

'I look like shit' she stated, as if waiting for his feedback.

'No you don't' he said quickly. She tilted her head to the side with disbelief, a small smile on her face. He did the same before he spoke.

'Alright, maybe in your standard, you do. But you're still beautiful to me' he whispered then, his hands still holding her face.

He saw something in her eyes then, maybe surprise, caused by his words. He wondered then if she hadn't already known, how beautiful he thinks she is. Sure he didn't usually say it, but she must've known.

He let go of her face, finding it hard not to stare at her pulpy lips, before he turned around.

'And now you eat' he said, taking a bagel out of a brown bag.

'I'm not hungry Harvey' she said, her eyes pleading him not to push her.

'You have to eat' he insisted. 'Come on it's your favorite. Blueberry with light cream cheese' he said, trying to tempt her.

'Fine then, I'll eat it if you won't' he said with a forced pout, taking a bite full. 'This is delicious' he commented with a full mouth, throwing her a side glance, glad to see a small smile creeping up her face.

It's only a few seconds later that he noticed her eyeing the bagel, as she sat with both her hands under her, her mouth slightly open.

'You're unbelievable' he finally said, faking an eye roll and presenting the bagel in front of her. He noticed then her hidden hands, and how she didn't seem to be willing to move. He brought the bagel closer to her mouth, before she took a big bite, and then another.

'I'm done thank you' she said then, leaving a small bite untouched.

'Just finish it off Donna' he insisted.

'I'm full, you eat it' she argued.

'I hardly think a small bite would make a difference' he said, but she wouldn't budge.

He took the last piece and swallowed it quickly, throwing her a dark look.

He watched her as she removed a small amount of cream cheese from the side of her mouth with her tongue, before she started thinking about all the bad things that could happen to her brother.

'Don't go there' he warned her gently. 'He's going to be fine, and I'm going to sue the shit of whoever hit him. I'll go ask that nurse for updates ok?' he asked her as she nodded.

'Can you tell us anything about Jason Paulsen?' Harvey asked the nurse nearby.

'I'm sorry sir, you're going to have to wait for the Dr.' she said apologetically.

'We've been here for hours, please, if you can just get us an update' he insisted, trying to remain calm. He knew that lack of news might mean no good news, fully aware that the longer it stretched, the harder it would be for Donna to push away the dark thoughts.

'Here he is sir' she said then, looking at the end of the hall.

Harvey immediately walked to Donna, staying close by as she stood up, waiting for the doctor to talk to them.

'Ms. Paulsen, Mr..?' he asked.

'Harvey Specter' Harvey answered quickly.

'Since the person who hit your brother did not report, he had lost a lot of blood by the time someone saw him' he started, as Donna's legs started to slightly shake. Harvey's arm protectively went to her waist, holding her close. 'But he was very lucky and I was able to operate on his wounds to prevent them from any infection. He has sustained a big one in his head, and broken his arm and a couple of ribs. However, because of the time he was left unconscious, the oxygen couldn't reach his brain for a whole 20 minutes, and he's now currently still unconscious' he said meticulously.

'So he's in a coma?' Donna asked, her voice cracking, as she leaned on Harvey even more.

'This condition is not labeled as coma until he has exceeded the ten days. If he were to wake up, it should be within two to ten days' the doctor explained. 'Meanwhile try to talk to him, sometimes patients respond better if someone's present and let me know if I you need anything else. I'll let you see him in a few minutes' he continued.

'Thank you Dr' Harvey said, knowing that Donna was in no state to speak.

He turned around to face Donna, holding her by the arms as she started to cry again.

'Donna he'll be ok' he said softly.

'What if he won't? What if he doesn't wake up? Or wakes up and doesn't remember who he-' she said, unable to continue her sentence before she fell apart again.

He then did what he had tried to avoid doing for twelve years; he just held her. His arms went to her waist, bringing her close, as she instinctively wrapped her arms around him, one hand reaching for his neck while the other hugged his shoulder.

Her tears kept falling down her face and on his skin for a long time, as he spoke softly.

'It's okay' he said. "We're together." He didn't say _you'll be okay_ , or _I'm here_. After all they'd been through over the last year, he knew that the most important thing was that they were together. She loved him for saying that.

When she finally had run out of tears, she took her head away from his neck, resting it on his shoulder for a few seconds, trying to remove the tears left on her cheeks. She took a deep breath, stepping away from him and trying to be as strong as possible.

'I'm ok' she repeated, as he looked at her affectionately. He had always admired her strength and resilience.

'You need to go back to the office Harvey. Hardman won't back off' she started reasoning.

'Donna, I'm not going anywhere, I'm not leaving you alone. Louis, Jessica, Mike and Rachel can handle it' he said stubbornly. His phone buzzed, Jessica's name flashing on his screen. 'Speaking of which, let me get this' he said with a small smile, sitting back on the chair.

'Morning Jessica' Harvey said.

'Morning Jessica? Where the hell are you Harvey' Jessica shouted, her anger clear. 'The firm is under attack and one of my named partners is missing, along with our most competent assistant. Don't get me wrong Harvey, I'm all team Darvey or whatever, but now is not the time' she continued, sarcasm and anger dripping from her words.

'Didn't Louis tell you?' Harvey asked, surprised by her 'Darvey' label and lack of knowledge of what was going on.

'Tell me what? He's been in a goddamn meeting for twenty minutes' she explained.

'Donna's brother got into an accident. I've been at the hospital with her since morning' he explained, as Donna threw him a guilty look.

'Oh' Jessica said, slightly calming down. 'I had no idea. How is he? How's Donna?' she asked then, slightly concerned.

'He just got out of the operation room…next phase is critical. Donna is strong' he said affectionately, returning her smile at his words.

'Look Jessica I'll make up for it tonight, I'll work late, don't worry. That son of a bitch isn't coming anywhere near PSL' he said.

'PSL, really? Do you have a pet name for it too?' Jessica asked, mocking him.

'Hey, I'm not the one making up creative names today' he teased, referring to her Darvey name.

'Oh if you think this name hasn't existed for the last twelve years, you're in the dark son' she said with all the wisdom she had, making him laugh.

'I'll talk to you later Jessica' he said before hanging up.

'Harvey seriously, you need to go. I feel like shit keeping you here when you're supposed to be working' Donna explained.

'Donna' he said in that tone he used when trying to make her understand. 'Me leaving here won't do a thing. I won't be at the top of my game anyway' he explained.

'Why not?' she asked then.

'Because I can't focus if I don't know for sure you're ok. I'm not leaving you alone' he whispered then. His words caught her by surprise. Maybe she had expected him to answer her questions like he usually did; with evasive answers.

He wondered for a second about Mitchell's whereabouts, secretly hoping they had ended things. Otherwise he would be an asshole for not showing up. He felt a wave of jealousy and resentment towards a man he didn't even know. He thought about asking her but decided against it; he didn't want to cause any awkwardness or pressure her.

She seemed to read his mind, as she often did, immediately offering an explanation.

'You won't have to stay all day. Mitchell should come around 5; he was out of New York for work, he'll be back by then' she said slowly. She swore she could see a hint of something in his eyes, but shrugged it off. She even expected him to mock it, roll his eyes, or say something impulsive. If she was being honest, she hadn't even thought about Mitchell , Harvey's presence enough to comfort her. If Mitchell hadn't called this morning, she probably would have forgotten to tell him.

She watched him swallow hard instead, clearly trying to control his words.

'Then I'll make sure we get lunch before that' he said quietly, forcing a small smile on his lips, as she found it hard to ignore the twist in her stomach.

* * *

 _A.N.: Hey guys! This is the first chapter of a multi-chapter story. It's just an idea that I had, and I hope you enjoy it. Expect flashbacks, conflict, sorrow, and a whole lot of love in the chapters to come._

 _I would love to know what you think, so don't forget to drop a review!_

 _Hoping for a Darvey full mid-season finale._

 _-G_


	2. Chapter 2

The doctor shortly informed them they could now see Jason. Donna stood up immediately, walking fast as Harvey followed her, staying close eyes filled with tears at the sight of her brother, her mouth opened in shock.

'Oh my God Jason' she said, the tears streaming down her face, as she walked towards his bed, touching his face tenderly. Harvey's heart broke at the sight of her tears, and he felt a wave of fear rise in him. What if Jason never did wake up? He could barely recognize his usual kind features and walked towards Donna, standing shoulder to shoulder with her, trying to convey support.

She turned her face towards Harvey, her eyes glassy with tears, unable to say a word. Her hand went to Jason's, as Harvey reached for the free one, slipping his fingers between hers, his thumb caressing her skin in a soothing fashion. They didn't say a word, and just stood there until Donna was ready to sit on the nearby couch, Harvey by her side.

'Are you ok?' he asked her gently.

She nodded. 'Thank you for being here Harvey' she whispered, a single tear streaming down her cheek.

He smiled at her affectionately, brushing the tear away with his thumb. He kissed her forehead then without thinking, as he whispered words he had never said before. 'Always' he said, surprised by his own vulnerability. Donna's heart tightened at his words, the skin of her forehead burning from his lips, as she relaxed back on the couch, resting her head on his shoulder, as his arm held her close.

He could feel her breath steadying then getting heavier. He glanced at her to see her eyes closed, one of her hands wrapped around his waist. He couldn't ignore the warmth he felt from her presence, wondering why he had never felt this before with anyone else. His phone buzzed, as he opened the message from Mike, informing him that he and Rachel will be coming in half an hour to visit. He texted him back, asking him to get Thai food from Donna's favorite, picking her usual, hoping she would eat.

His hand started playing with a lock of her fiery hair, caressing it and twisting its end around his index. He started relaxing, inhaling her scent, as he soon followed her in deep sleep.

'I hope she's ok' Rachel said worriedly, as they walked towards the hospital room, hands filled with bag of Thai food boxes. Mike nodded, stopping her as they reached the entrance of the room. They found Harvey and Donna sleeping, holding each other close.

'Aww' Rachel said, unable to hold it in. Mike's curled up smile said it all.

'You think we should wake them up?' he asked her, all in whispers.

'They are adorable. Seriously. Look' she insisted, as if he hadn't seen.

'I know' he said amused.

Harvey had been awake for a few minutes, his eyes still closed, trying to enjoy the moment while it lasted. He thought Donna was still asleep, surprised when he heard her voice.

'We're up you know' she told them, untangling herself from him. He opened one eye, to find her giving him her usual I-know-everything look, one he reciprocated with a smile.

'Donna!' Rachel said, immediately walking to hug her friend. 'Are you ok? What did the doctor say?' she asked as Mike kissed Donna's cheek.

She started telling them what he had said, as Harvey asked Mike to walk out of the room with him. After hearing positive news on the whole Hardman situation, Harvey informed Mike that he'd be coming to work in a couple of hours.

'I think it's great that you're with her' Mike pointed out.

Harvey nodded, wondering where else he would be.

'You know maybe it's a good time to work some things through between you two. This could bring you closer and –' Mike started, before Harvey cut him.

'Mike, don't' he said calmly.

'Why not? Come on Harvey, don't you think it's time you do something about it?' Mike insisted.

Harvey didn't even bother asking how he knew that he's been thinking about it lately, how he feels about Donna.

'She's seeing someone' he explained, as if it was argument enough to stop the discussion.

'So? You're not one to back away from a figt' Mike argued.

'She's been seeing him for the last 6 weeks Mike and I saw how she talked about him. She's happy, she made a choice' Harvey barely whispered, his index and thumb caressing the bridge of his nose.

'Making a choice requires knowing all the options. She doesn't' Mike said, standing up and patting his friend's shoulder, before going back in.

Harvey followed him, his words ringing in his ear. She doesn't. How couldn't she know?

He opened the bag of food, taking a box and handing it to Donna.

'Harvey. I'm not hungry' she repeated.

'Donna, you have to eat. Come on' he insisted. 'Or do you just like to steal from my food?' he teased her.

'Hey I refuse to answer that' she said faking a pout.

'Come on, just eat some. For me' he said, with the puppy eyes she never could resist.

'Screw you Specter' she said, rolling her eyes as she took the box from her hand.

'You'll thank me later' he said, amused.

After eating their food, and Donna almost finishing her meal, Harvey stood up, as if going somewhere.

'Listen Donna, I was thinking, if you're going to sleep here you'll need some things from your house. Maybe Rachel should get them for you?' he suggested.

Rachel's face filled with guilt.

'I have a law exam in an hour' she explained.

'What the hell are you doing here?' Donna said, surprised. 'Go get prepared!' she yelled, all motherly.

'I was just about to go' she explained, giving her friend a kiss.

'Then I'll go get what you need, Mike can stay with you meanwhile' Harvey said.

'It's fine Harvey, I'll go later, get what I need' she answered.

'Donna' he warned softly. 'Tell me what to get' he insisted.

'Just get me a tooth brush, yoga pants, and any comfortable shirt' she shrugged in surrender.

He walked up to her.

'Keys' he said, as she handed it to him, keeping her hand on his for a few seconds.

'I'll be right back' he whispered with a smile, before heading out.

'Take care of her Mike' he instructed his friend, who nodded.

Harvey took a cab to Donna's, his heart skipping as he rode in her elevator. He didn't feel very comfortable going there again, looking inside her closet and drawers. He decided to make it real quick and efficient. He tried not to look too hard at the places where he had made love to her, these places that had burnt a hole in his memory.

He walked into her bedroom, opening her closet and the second drawer, where she usually puts her yoga pants. He stopped in his tracks at the sight of something hidden beneath one of the pants.

It was a picture, a picture of him and her and his father, many years ago at Thanksgiving. He remembered that day vividly, how happy he was, being with two of the most important people in his life and how Donna had asked Gordon for a copy of this picture. His heart winced in pain at his father's memory, and how much he had pushed him to try to be with Donna. 'It's not like that' he used to repeat to him. Maybe it was, maybe it is.

Just when he thought he couldn't get more surprised, his fingers flipped the picture to find his father's handwriting in black ink.

 _ **Donna-**_

 _ **I wanted to thank you for making Harvey this kind, good-hearted man, something I always knew he would be. Thank you for being there for him, pushing him to be a better person, being his better half. Together, you can conquer the world.**_

 _ **I hope I'll get to see this picture on a shelf in your home one day, next to that of my grandchildren.**_

 _ **Love,**_

 _ **Gordon**_

Harvey felt his fingers trembling, a knot forming in his throat. He could hear his father saying it, imagining him with a small smile on his face. He kept hearing his voice all the way to the hospital, his eyes filled with tears, without even realizing it until she asked him.

'Are you ok?' she asked, confused, as he handed her a bag with what she had asked for.

He realized then the moistness in his eyes, trying to act as normal as ever.

'Yeah I'm fine. Where's Mike?' he asked, looking away from her.

'He had to leave, emergency at the office' she explained, still worried about him. 'You should go, help them. Mitchell is on his way, he should be here any minute' she said.

The last thing he needed now was hearing that name, as he felt a kick in his stomach. He took a deep breath before facing her again.

'Sure' he said, hoping he didn't sound too cold. His goodbye was cut by a man's deep voice. He turned around and found a blond tall figure, with brown eyes staring at him.

'Euhm Harvey this is Mitchell' she said nervously, as Harvey studied every inch of him.

He extended his hand, which Mitchell shook. Good grip, he thought.

'You work together?' Mitchell asked, making Harvey understand that she had never talked about him. He felt a knife twist in his heart. Six weeks and she didn't even mention him?

'We work at the same firm' he answered, his voice low, barely audible.

'Nice to meet you' he said warmly, before walking to Donna, his mouth crashing on hers.

Harvey looked away, preparing himself to walk out.

'Harvey' she called out, making him turn around and look her in the eyes. He felt the moisture in his eyes again. He waited for her to say something, but he knew she was studying his face, trying to understand what was on his mind, something he hoped she wouldn't be able to do.

'Thank you' she said then, as he answered her with a small nod.

'I'll call you later' he said, walking away.

Harvey went immediately to the firm, hoping some work would take his mind off of what's really bothering him. He knew what she saw in Mitchell; the guy didn't seem bad at all. His mind drifted so far as to imagine them with strawberry blonde hair. He then thought about his dad, and wondered how disappointed he would be of him now.

He kept working late at the firm, falling asleep at 4 a.m. on his couch, covered with papers.

He woke up to a gentle poke, opening his eyes to find Jessica staring at him.

'Go home Harvey' she said softly.

He stirred in his seat, before waking up and informing her of what he had found. He went home to take a shower and sleep a few hours, before calling Donna to check on her.

 _A.N: Sorry for the late update, been a bit busy that last week. What about that finale huh? It's going to be a long hiatus._

 _Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter._

 _I will be eagerly waiting for your feedback, so don't forget to drop a review :)_

 _-G_


	3. Chapter 3

Harvey woke up around 9 that morning, after only a couple hours of sleep, with an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach. He had dreamed about Donna. She was wearing white, walking down the aisle, to be met by Mitchell instead of him.

He washed his face, letting the water run in the sink for a few more seconds before he called Donna.

'Hey' he said softly as soon as she answered.

'Hey' she answered, her voice tired.

'How are you? Any news?' he asked carefully.

'Not really' she said, exhaling heavily. 'Vitals are a bit stronger, but he's still irresponsive' she explained.

'But that's great! Stronger vitals could mean good things' he said encouragingly.

'Yeah' she said, trying to sound positive.

'Is Mitchell still with you?' Harvey asked casually.

'No he left this morning' she said, as he heard the disappointment in her voice. _What an asshole,_ he thought.

'I'm on my way' he said, before hanging up.

He quickly got dressed in casuals, wearing many layers as New York's street covered with white. He took an extra sweatshirt, remembering how cold Donna was the day before, before he called Ray to pick him up.

Much like the day before, he stopped at the coffee shop to get her favorite. He walked towards Jason's room, watching her through the window. She had brought the couch close to her brother's bed, laying her head near his hand. She wasn't ok.

He walked inside, watching her head rise at the sound of his footsteps, her eyes glassy.

He wordlessly walked towards her, sitting next to her, his hand warmly massaging her back, his eyes catching hers. It was all it took to reduce her to tears, as she started sobbing, moving her body to hug him, and he dropped the bag with the coffees next to him, wrapping both his arms around her.

'Let it out, it's ok' he whispered tenderly, kissing the top of her head, as she clutched the fabric of his shirt. Her breath started to steady a few minutes later, as she raised her head from the space in his neck, meeting his eyes.

'Don't say it' he warned her gently, knowing that she was about to apologize. She smiled weakly.

'Harvey' she said, her voice shaking, 'what if he doesn't wake up?'

'Then' he said, his mind trailing off at the thought 'we'll get through this together' he whispered, tightening his grip on her. She looked at him, her hand reaching for his hair, shaking off a snow flake, stuck in his messy hair. Her hands went down to his face, caressing his jaw line, as if trying to memorize it.

He was shivering under her touch, his eyes piercing through her.

'Besides, I'm pretty sure he'll be up in no time, giving me a hard time about you' Harvey added, a faint smile on his face.

'I told him to wear a helmet, I told him but I should've-' she started before he cut her.

'Donna, you know Jason better than me. He is always like that, you shouldn't blame yourself' Harvey explained.

'You mean a reckless idiot who just says whatever was on his mind?' she asked with a sad smile.

'Since the day I met him' Harvey answered, reciprocating her smile.

'You were terrorized' Donna said, remembering their first encounter.

'I wasn't expecting that!' he said defensively.

* * *

 _[9 years ago]_

' _Hey sis' Donna heard through the phone, surprise on her face._

' _Jason! Is something wrong?' she asked in a panic._

' _No. Can't a brother call his sister to check on her?' he asked, an amused tone in his voice._

' _Not you, no' she joked, as she heard him laugh._

' _What are your plans tonight?' he asked her._

' _I was supposed to have dinner with Harvey…' she started before he cut her._

' _Great, I'll join you then. I'm in New York till tomorrow midday' he explained._

' _I'll cancel with Harvey and we have dinner together' she quickly proposed._

' _No. I'm curious to meet him. I've been hearing about him for years, it's about time I meet the man in my sister's life' he teased._

' _Jason, he's my boss' she retorted. Truth was, Harvey had always wondered why he hadn't met her bother yet._

' _With whom you spend most of your time, and go to dinner with. Besides, I didn't say anything. He's a man in your life isn't he?' he said._

' _I didn't miss you' she said with fake annoyance._

' _Me neither' he said chuckling. 'Text me the address will you? I'll see you tonight sis' he added before hanging up._

 _Donna took a deep breath. Her brother and Harvey in the same room was not a good idea. Jason had always been very outspoken about his thoughts, and she knew he wouldn't hesitate to say anything if he noticed something._ _ **Which wouldn't happen. Because there's nothing,**_ _she thought to herself._

 _At around 5, Donna stood up, swaying her hips as she walked into Harvey's office._

' _Harvey' she said, making him raise his eyes to meet hers. 'Do you mind if my brother joins us for dinner tonight?' she asked._

 _He's surprised. 'No. But if you want to postpone our dinner and have a one-on-one with your brother, it's ok' he said._

' _I wish. He seems more excited to meet you than see his big sister' she said with a forced exhale._

' _He seems like a smart man, I like him already' he joked._

' _Oh you won't know what hit you' she said with a chuckle._

' _What does that mean?' he asked curiously._

' _He's pretty intimidating' she explained, making Harvey snort._

' _I'm sure I can handle him. He's what ten years younger?' he said confidently._

' _Five. And we'll see about that tonight' she said with a big grin._

' _Am I interrupting something?' Jessica said, walking in._

' _No, we're done' Donna said, her voice cheerier than usual. 'I'm heading home Harvey' she added._

' _Pick you up at 8?' he shouted on her way out, as she turned around and winked at him._

' _What was that about?' Jessica asked curiously._

' _I'm meeting her brother today' Harvey shrugged._

' _You're terrified aren't you?' Jessica said, eyeing him in a way that made him uncomfortable._

' _Why would I be?' he said in a cool tone._

' _Oh my god you are' Jessica pushed, clearly amused._

' _Did you need something Jessica?' he said, annoyed, as she left his office laughing._

 _They sat down in the restaurant, waiting for Jason as Donna noticed that Harvey was nervous. It warmed her heart, knowing he cared about her brother's opinion about him._

' _He's always late, so let's just order wine' she said as Harvey called the waiter._

' _What does he like?' Harvey asked._

' _What about what I like?'Donna pouted._

' _We can have that any other day' Harvey argued._

' _Not if he ends up not liking you' Donna said with a devilish smile._

' _Donna, that's not nice' he said with a pout making her heart melt._

 _The waiter just stood there, entertained by their discussion._

' _We'll have a bottle of Merlot' she told the waiter who nodded, leaving them._

' _So he's a Merlot guy?' Harvey asked curiously. The choice seemed very Donna-ish._

' _He's not a wine guy' Donna said laughing, throwing her head back the way he loved._

' _You're impossible' he said, his eyes not leaving her._

' _Honestly Harvey, this is cute' she said, leaning in over the table. 'I don't understand the fuss. If he doesn't like you, then too bad for him, whatever' she said. She was testing him, eager to know what his explication would be, why he had wanted to impress Jason so much._

' _No, not whatever' he said quickly, 'it's important' he added softly. Donna's mouth went into a sided smile, catching his eyes, waiting for an explanation._

' _What if I wanted to marry you one day?' he flirted, leaning closer towards her._

' _You'd have to convince me first, I think you should worry about that' she flirted back, ignoring the irregularities in her heart beat._

' _Oh we've established that you're into me a long time ago' he whispered, his voice husky. He knew he was pushing it far, but he wanted to._

 _She shook her head to the side, thinking of something to say, a wide smile spreading on her lips._

' _Sorry to interrupt' they heard, as Donna leaned back, recognizing her brother's voice._

 _They both stood up, Donna hugging her brother tight before she turned towards Harvey._

' _Harvey, Jason' she introduced them._

 _Jason extended his arm, shaking Harvey's hand firmly._

 _He looked a lot like his sister, having the same kind eyes and nose. His hair was blonde, his features soft. He had this energy spreading from him. Harvey thought then that it couldn't be as bad as it seemed._

 _After ordering, Harvey and Jason conversed about their jobs, Donna participating in the discussion. She could feel her brother's curious glance between her and Harvey a couple of times, but ignored it. They were acting perfectly friendly, not like a couple of minutes before he arrived._

' _So' Jason said between bites. 'Since when have you two been sleeping together?' he asked casually, as Harvey almost choked on his steak._

' _Jason' Donna warned her brother._

' _What Donn, it's a question' he continued as if nothing happened._

' _We're not' she answered him then._

' _But you have' he insisted, looking at Harvey this time._

 _Harvey looked him straight in the eyes. Donna was waiting for Harvey to lie._

' _Once' he said, still looking into Jason's eyes, the amount of wine making him brave._

' _I like him. He's honest' he said, looking at Donna. 'And why aren't you together? Was it this bad?' he teased._

 _Donna tried to hit Jason under the table, lightly kicking Harvey instead, her eyes apologetic once she saw him jump a bit._

' _No' Harvey said, still decided on answering him. 'It was…'he trailed off, his eyes shifting to Donna who was biting her lower lip._

' _Out of this world' she said, overlapping Harvey's 'different', a current passing through them._

 _Jason chuckled looking back and forth between them._

' _So, why not?' he asked. Neither would answer._

' _You're a womanizer' he said to Harvey then, his voice lack of accusation. Harvey almost choked for the second time that night, starting to understand what Donna had meant._

' _I-' Harvey mumbled._

' _I was one too' Jason said. 'But then I met someone and it didn't feel the same anymore. It didn't sound so thrilling, I started feeling…' he said thinking of the word._

' _Empty' Harvey continued avoiding Donna's eyes, as Jason nodded._

' _So I stopped, and I settled with this woman' he continued, effortlessly._

' _You're still together?' Harvey asked, assuming the answer would be a resounding yes._

' _No. Things...didn't work out' he said, trying to sound casual._

' _It's her loss' Donna said, putting a hand on Jason's arm. She remembered how hurt he was._

 _Jason smiled at her, and Harvey spoke._

' _So now you stopped being a womanizer?' he asked._

' _Oh no, I'm having fun, time of my life Harvey' he said, making Harvey laugh and Donna roll her eyes at both of them. 'But the point is, once you've met someone special enough, you would stop. But I think you already know that' he added with a small smile._

 _The conversation shifted to sports, as Harvey expressed his fascination with skateboarding and extreme sports Jason was fond of. Around 11:30, Jason excused himself._

' _Have drinks with us' Harvey suggested._

' _Thanks man but I'm meeting someone' he added with a wink._

 _He shook Harvey's hand, patting his arm._

' _Just man up and do something about will you?' he whispered to him, much to Harvey's surprise._

 _He hugged his sister then._

' _Cut him some slack. I know about that rule of yours' he whispered in her ear, before kissing her cheek and leaving them both._

' _What did he tell you?' Donna asked curiously._

' _What did he tell you?' Harvey mimicked, standing in front of her._

' _I'm not saying' she said, challenging him._

' _Well neither am I' Harvey said. 'But we can go get drinks, and try to convince one another' he suggested._

' _I think we should leave that for another day' she said then with a small smile._

 _As soon as the car stopped at Donna's, she turned to face Harvey._

' _He likes you' she said with a shy smile._

 _Harvey's grin was broad, his head resting on the headrest, his face angled towards her. He looked tired, the long day and the alcohol completely tiring him out._

' _One down, one to go' he whispered, with a certitude that made her heart skip a beat._

' _Goodnight Harvey' she said, walking out of the car._

' _Night Donna' he whispered, watching her walk inside her building._

* * *

[Today]

'What did he tell you then?' she asked him, hoping he'd answer.

After finding out he had barely slept three hours, she had insisted that he lay down on the couch, resting her head on her legs.

'Donna' he pleaded.

'Come on. I'll tell you what he said to me' she promised, running her hand in his hair, as he closed his eyes at her touch.

He hesitated, his eyes still closed before opening his mouth to speak.

'Did you finally man up and did something about it?' they heard Jason's weak voice, as it took them a few seconds to realize it was him.

* * *

 _A.N: Hey guys! I didn't get manyreviews on the last chapter, but here's the next one anyway. I hope you enjoy it. I'm sorry for the late update, had a lot on my plate._

 _Don't forget to drop a review and let me know what you think._

 _-G_


	4. Chapter 4

'Did you finally man up and did something about it?' they heard Jason's weak voice, as it took them a few seconds to realize it was him.

Harvey immediately removed his head from Donna's lap, sitting straight as Donna stood up, standing above her brother.

'Jason?' she asked, tears filling up her eyes, as Harvey mumbled something about getting the doctor.

'Hi sis, so did he?' he asked, his voice so low Donna had to practically lean down to hear him, a ghost of a smile on his face.

Harvey walked into the room again to find Donna lightly hitting her brother on the arm.

'You, stupid, reckless, IDIOT Jason' she shouted, her voice trembling.

'Ouch, Donna!' Jason complained, before Harvey walked quickly to her, taking her hands into his and turning her to face him.

'Hey' he said softly, as she avoided his eyes. 'Hey' he repeated, urging her to look at him. 'He's ok Donna, he's fine' he whispered, seeing the tears streaming down her face.

'…so scared' she mumbled, unable to form a complete sentence, tasting the saltiness of her own tears.

'I know, I know' he said, pulling her closely, his hand caressing her hair, as she sniffed in his neck.

Jason felt horrible at the sight of his sister, trying to cough to speak louder.

'Donna' he called out, making her turn to face him, her eyes red from tears. 'I'm sorry' he said, moving his hand, trying to hold hers. She held his hand before nodding silently.

'Don't ever do that again' she warned softly.

'What, get hit while skateboarding? Too bad, was my favorite activity' he tried to joke, obviously still in pain. It earned him a small chuckle from both Donna and Harvey.

'Are you in pain?' Harvey asked, noticing he had his eyes closed. 'The doctor is on his way'

As soon as he finished his sentence, the doctor walked in, stepping close to Jason.

Donna and Harvey stood by, watching the doctor talk to Jason and test his eye movement with a light pen. When he was done with his tests, he turned around to address Donna and Harvey.

'It's great that he's up, but his eye response is still slow. This phase now is critical, but you should expect him to fall in and out of consciousness for the next couple of days' the doctor explained.

'What are the risks?' Donna barely whispered.

'Donna' Harvey warned her softly.

'I need to know' she whispered, as he nodded, holding her by the waist for support.

'There are possibilities of seizures, brain bleed..' he started, Donna shivering at the words, Harvey's grip tightening on her waist. She couldn't listen anymore, just nodded emptily at the doctor's words.

When he left, they could hear Jason whispering: 'I'll be ok Donna'

She smiled warmly at her brother, before taking a deep breath.

'I'm going to get us something to eat' she told Harvey, squeezing his arm before walking out of the room. Harvey knew the reason she left was to avoid showing her brother how terrified she was, going out to gather her strength before walking in again.

'So' he heard Jason say, 'my words did their magic?' he said smugly, in a way that reminded Harvey of a younger version of himself.

'Jason' Harvey said tiredly, 'just rest' he said, sitting on the couch next to him.

'I'll take that as a no. Why not man!' he said, his eyes still closed.

'Jason' Harvey warned again.

'Come on Harv, I might die any moment, just tell me' he tried to joke.

'Don't even THINK about joking like this in front of your sister' Harvey said, his voice rising in protectiveness.

'See? This is how I always knew you loved her. You'd do anything to protect her, including shouting at her dying brother' Jason said with faked hurt, making Harvey chuckle.

'Again with the dying joke? I'm sorry Jason, I haven't had much sleep lately, and this topic is…complicated' Harvey said softly.

'I'm sure I can keep up' Jason breathed, clearly falling asleep.

'She's seeing someone' Harvey admitted then, before realizing Jason was far gone.

'That'll be a story for another day then J, give you something to look forward to' he whispered, patting his arm and not missing the small smile on Jason's face, as he drifted back to sleep.

He walked out towards the cafeteria, searching for Donna, to find her staring at the sandwiches fridge.

'I heard they have a killer chicken parmesan' he whispered in her ear, standing close behind her, as she could hear the smile in his voice. The sound of his voice sent a wave of warmth through her body, as she leaned slightly against his shoulder.

His left hand held her waist, taking her lean against him as permission, as she rested her face on his torso. She knew they were treading dangerous waters, spending so much time together, her constant yearning for his presence and touch sending alarms in her head. But she didn't, couldn't think it through now, as she just enjoyed his smell and the way the heat from his hand reached the skin under her shirt.

'Jason' she stated in a question.

'Sleeping' he barely whispered. 'Come on, let's grab two sandwiches' he said, leading him in front of her.

After eating, they both relaxed back on the couch, Donna's eyes closing slowly. He touched her arm, as she turned around to face him. 'Lie down' he said gently, preparing himself to get up so she could have the entire couch.

'No, I'm ok Harv' she said, smiling faintly.

'Then wear this, you're cold, in that soft shirt of yours' he ordered her, as she quirked an eyebrow at him.

'I like this shirt' she stated defensively.

'It's a nice shirt' he argued, his eyes drifting to her body, as she watched him bite on her lower lip.

'Eyes up Specter' she said with a smile.

'Yeah I just-' he tried to explain, feeling slightly embarrassed.

'Save it' she said with her old sass.

He handed her his sweatshirt, before she slid it on, enjoying his smell and the warmth it brought to her.

Harvey's phone rang.

'Yeah Jessica' Harvey said, tired. Donna looked at his face, trying to read it.

'I'll be there in thirty minutes' he said before hanging up.

'Go Harvey, don't worry about me' she said with a smile.

'I just need 40 minutes there and I'll come back' he said, getting up and putting on his jacket.

'Mitchell is coming any minute now' she said, trying to ignore the way he clenched his jaw.

'I'll call you then' he said, as she stood up to face him.

She tightened the sides of his jacket around him, as if meaning to keep him warm.

'Stay warm. Looks freezing outside' she said, glancing at the window, the snow covering the streets.

He nodded before making sure she was warm enough in his sweater.

'I'll talk to you' he said, finding it hard to walk away, her hand on his chest making him understand she felt the same.

He turned around and left the hospital, heading towards PSL, where Jessica needed to consult him on a few matters.

Despite trying to focus on Jessica's words, Harvey's mind kept drifting to Donna, and how she was now probably with Mitchell. He imagined her kissing him, remembering how it felt to have her hand in his hair. He wondered then if she would take his sweatshirt off while kissing Mitchell, a feeling of anxiety bubbling in his stomach.

'Are you listening Harvey?' Jessica asked, raising an eyebrow.

'Yes. Good idea' he said, not even sure what they were saying.

'Just go home' she said then with exasperation. She wasn't mad at him; she was proud he was being there for Donna and still busting his ass at work. He called Ray to come meet him.

'Ray, did you get the tapes I asked for?' he asked him as soon as he got inside the car? He had asked a guy he knows to pull all camera data from around the block where Jason got hit.

Ray nodded, before Harvey thanked him.

He closed his eyes on his way home, wondering whether Donna was truly happy, if she had moved on with Mitchell, if making a move would jeopardize her happiness. He couldn't do that. He realized then he had never imagined that would happen; as arrogant as it sounded, he always thought she'd never be happy with someone other than him. Because he could only be happy with her, and somehow he thought that much like every little thing they picked from each other over years, she'd feel the same.

Maybe he was wrong.

* * *

 _I'm jealous of the nights  
That I don't spend with you  
I'm wondering who you lay next to  
Oh, I'm jealous of the nights  
I'm jealous of the love  
Love that was in here  
Gone for someone else to share  
Oh, I'm jealous of the love, cause_

 _I wished you the best of  
All this world could give  
And I told you when you left me  
There's nothing to forgive  
But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was  
Heartbreak and misery  
It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way  
You're happy without me_

* * *

His thoughts were stopped by Ray's voice, informing him they had reached his apartment. He stepped out in the cold weather, walking towards his building, eager to get inside.

He removed his heavy jacket as soon as he stepped inside his apartment, taking off his suit and slipping into something more comfortable; grey sweat pants and a black t-shirt, not forgetting to turn on the heaters.

He decided he needed to get his mind off of Donna, looking at the scattered papers in his living room and on the kitchen counter. He was usually a tidy man, but his apartment has been a mess ever since Jason got into the accident. _How ironic_ , he thought, _how his world turned into chaos whenever she wasn't ok._ He tried to finish some boring paperwork for Jessica but decided to watch the tapes instead, hoping he'd find something on whoever hurt Jason.

He finally found a tape showing the car that hit Jason, writing down the plate number before calling Mike.

'Mike, I need a favor. Can you look up this plate number, and prepare papers to press charges? File for misdemeanor if this is the first time, or E Felony if he's done it before' he explained quickly.

'Harvey, are you ok? How's Donna? Are you with her?' Mike asked.

'I'm fine, she's ok. No she has Mitchell' he said bitterly, before realizing he was mad at himself, not her. 'Can you do this and let me know?' he continued.

'Sure Harvey' Mike said. 'Can I ask you for a favor?' he asked his mentor then.

Harvey raised an eyebrow in surprise.

'Mike any other day, ask me for anything, including Rachel advice, but please today…' he started, feeling bad for shrugging off his friend.

'Let her know about her choices' Mike said, cutting Harvey mid-sentence. Harvey didn't say anything, not sure what Mike was talking about. 'Donna. Let her know' he clarified.

Harvey sighed deeply. The kid was right, but he just couldn't. There was too much to lose, he was too scared. She had Mitchell.

'Let me know what happens Mike' Harvey said, ignoring him, before hanging up.

He lied down on his couch, holding a stack of paper in his hands, pretending to work. His eyes closed for a brief moment, before he fell asleep.

 _[Meanwhile, at the hospital]_

Donna could still smell Harvey's scent on her, Mitchell's arm wrapped around her.

'Harvard sweatshirt?' he talked, mentioning her sweatshirt. He knew she didn't attend Harvard.

'Yeah, Harvey brought it when he was here' she mentioned like it's no big deal.

'You should've told me you were cold. I could've got you something' he said softly. Donna wondered if he was starting to feel jealous of a man he had barely met the day before.

'I didn't know I was…he just. He just did' she babbled, noticing a flash of something in Mitchell's eyes.

He didn't say anything, pulled her close instead, as if Harvey was ripping her away.

'Donna' she heard then, coming from Jason. He was up again.

'Jaz' she said, standing up above her brother.

'Water' he barely said, as she handed him a cup, helping him drink.

'Now, where's Harvey? We were having an interesting talk about you guys and -' Jason talked, before noticing there was someone who wasn't Harvey in the room.

Donna suddenly felt a wave of panic. What was he talking about with Harvey? She wondered if Mitchell heard her brother.

'Jason, this is Mitchell' she introduced them, as Mitchell found himself standing next to Donna.

Jason waited for an explanation.

'We, uhm, we've been seeing each other for a while' she explained awkwardly, much to Mitchell's surprise. He thought she'd introduce him as her boyfriend.

'How long?' Jason asked skeptically.

'Six weeks' she said, Jason clearly unsatisfied with the answer.

'That's why he said it was complicated..' Jason said a bit too loud.

'I'm sorry am I missing something?' Mitchell asked, clearly annoyed.

'No, it's nothing' Donna answered.

'Well…it's not nothing' Jason whispered low enough only for Donna to hear him. She threw him a dark glance before turning to face Mitchell.

'Look Donna, I think I should go' he started. 'I wondered the other day why you had never talked to me about Harvey. You've told me everything about everyone in your firm except him. I think it means something, and I think you're hiding something from me' he explained, his finger going back and forth between her and Jason. 'I don't know what it is. But until you figure it out, I think we should take a break' he continued, leaving a small kiss on her cheek, before walking out.

Donna turned around to face her brother, unable to be angry at him. She was glad he was awake and as annoying as ever. She gave him a reproaching look nonetheless.

'You're welcome' he said.

'You're an ass' she said.

He laughed before putting a serious face on.

'Seriously Donna. When are you going to stop this child play' he started. 'I'm your younger brother, you're supposed to be giving ME a hard time about being a kid' he joked then to lighten up the mood. 'You're in love with Harvey and he's crazy about you' he said.

'A lot has changed from the last time you've seen us' she argued.

'I'm sure it did. But not how much you're both in love. I saw it through my half-closed eye lids when you were caressing his hair' he added with a smirk.

'Leave it Jason. It's not that simple' she argued again.

'Maybe it isn't, but let me tell you this' he said. 'This cannot go on bec-' he continued before Donna saw him shaking .

'Jason' she called in panic. 'Jason' she repeated horrified, clicking on the nurse call button. He was having a seizure, his whole body shaking, drooling.

'Step away Ms please' she heard a voice tell her, as she fell on the couch, unable to move.

Harvey woke up to the sound of his phone at 10 p.m. He didn't even look before answering.

'Harvey' he head a broken voice, immediately recognizing it as Donna's. All he heard next was sobbing.

'Donna' he said, panic rising in his chest. 'Donna, talk to me, what happened. Donna please' he repeated, getting up and putting his clothes on.

'Jason had a seizure' she said between hiccups. 'And I'm still waiting they didn't say anything' she said in monosyllables.

'I'm coming' he said, slamming the door of his apartment behind him.

The hospital was close to his house, making it there in no time.

'Donna' he said, walking fast towards her, as she threw herself in his arms, sobbing.

He felt his heart constrict at the sound of her tears. He didn't say anything, the lump in his throat stopping him from making any sound.

When she calmed down, he let go of her, wiping her tears away with his thumbs and sleeves. He noticed Mitchell wasn't there, wanting to chase the guy and beat the shit out of him for leaving her alone.

The doctor arrived to inform them of the updates.

'Your brother is fine' he said calmly, as Donna released a heavy breath. 'I told you a seizure is a risk' he started. 'It's great that you immediately called the nurses; they got here in time to avoid any damages' he said as she leaned on Harvey's shoulder and he held her close. 'This can be due to the sudden exposure to many stimuli. He had been in a coma for a couple of days, and his body received a shock upon waking up suddenly' he explained.

'What can be done?' Harvey asked then, knowing that it was Donna's question.

'We've sedated him now, and will be decreasing the dosage with the coming days, so that his body adapts progressively to the environment. We will start this procedure tomorrow at 8, until then he should sleep the whole night' he continued. 'I advise you miss to go rest and come back tomorrow' he said, addressing Donna.

'Can't I stay? I can still get a bed tonight right?' she asked, barely audible.

The doctor hesitated.

'Only one person can. But I strongly recommend you have some rest. There's nothing you can do here' he explained gently, Harvey nodding in understanding.

As soon as the doctor left, Donna told Harvey.

'I'm staying' she said.

'Donna. Let's just go to my place. It is only minutes away, if anything should happen we'll be here in no time. You need rest' he reasoned.

She shook her head stubbornly. 'I'm staying' she repeated. 'Please Harvey' she begged him, breaking his heart. Their discussion was cut by one of the nurses, informing them that visiting hours were over.

'Just go' she told him.

He didn't say anything, staring at her and hoping she would change her mind.

'I'm ok Harvey, I promise' she said, trying to force a small smile on her face. He knew she had made up his mind, and pushing her more would make her angry.

'Just call me if you need anything ok?' he whispered, stepping close to her. He had that look in his eyes she had fallen for years ago: protectiveness.

'Ok' she whispered against his chest, leaning into him as he kissed her forehead affectionately.

Harvey went home and showered, slipping into sweatpants, deciding it was too hot to wear a t-shirt; he had forgotten to turn off the heat. He found messages on his phone and email from Mike with the latest updates. He poured himself a whiskey, sitting down on the living room couch and focusing his strength on punishing whoever hurt Jason.

It was around midnight when his phone rang again.

'Donna, everything ok?' he asked.

'Yeah, I'm just _lonely_ – I can't sleep' she settled for that choice of words.

Harvey didn't know what to say, not familiar with such phone calls before.

'How about I tell you a story?' he whispered.

She snorted. 'A story?' she asked in surprise.

'Yes' he said softly. 'My father used to read it to me when I was a kid' he explained, as she felt her heart swelling.

' _ **Little Nutbrown Hare, who was going to bed, held on tight to Big Nutbrown Hare's very long ears. He wanted to be sure that Big Nutbrown Hare was listening'**_ Harvey started, as she realized she had always loved the sound of his voice.

[…]

' _ **He was almost too sleepy to think any more. Then he looked beyond the thorn bushes, out into the big dark night. Nothing could be further than the sky.**_

 **I love you right up to the MOON, he said, and closed his eyes.**

 **Oh, that's far, said Big Nutbrown Hare. That is very, very far.**

 **Big Nutbrown Hare settled Little Nutbrown Hare into his bed of leaves. He leaned over and kissed him good night.**

 **Then he lay down close by and whispered with a smile…'**

Harvey was finishing off. He wasn't sure she was still awake, but he could hear her breath.

' _ **I love you right up to the moon - AND BACK**_ **.'** Donna whispered, as he felt his heart tighten.

'You know it' Harvey stated.

'I do. Mom used to read it to me too' she whispered.

A small silence fell before Harvey spoke again.

'I should've chosen a different one then' he said, bummed.

'No. This one was perfect' she said affectionately.

'You're no closer to sleeping are you?' he asked, as he heard her chuckle. 'I can come pick you up if you want, you can shower, sleep' he suggested again.

'Thanks Harvey. I'll be ok' she said. 'Are you going to bed? You know, in case I need another story' she said weakly.

'I still have a couple of hours, getting work done. But you call whenever you want' he said softly.

'Thanks Harv' she whispered, not sure why she had tears in her eyes.

'Night Donna' he murmured.

He rested his head back on the couch, breathing heavily before focusing back on Jason's case.

A few glasses of scotch later, when the clock had turned to 1:30, Harvey heard a knock on his door. Unsure whether he was imagining it from lack of sleep, he remained silent for a few seconds, before he heard it again.

He stood up and walked towards the door, opening it.

'Jesus Christ Donna!' he shouted, at the sight of a soaked Donna, her clothes sticking on her body, her hair wet, her skin blue from the cold, her whole body shaking.

* * *

 _A.N: Hey guys! This is one of the longest chapters I've ever written, so I hope you enjoyed reading it. Let me know what you think by dropping a review; it would motivate me to write the next chapter faster._

 _Thanks for reading,_

 _Waiting for your feedback,_

 _-G_


	5. Chapter 5

'Jesus Christ Donna!' he shouted at the sight of a soaked Donna, her clothes sticking on her body, her hair wet, her skin blue from the cold, her whole body shaking.

His hand instinctively reach for hers, dragging her inside.

'What the hell Donna, did you walk here? I told you I can come pick you up' his tone caring, gentle.

'I-uhm' she mumbled, unable to form a sentence.

'What happened?' he asked now completely worried, as his hands reached to remove her very thin, now soaked, jacket.

'Nothing I- I went out to take some air, and I just, walked here' she explained, her teeth clattering against each other.

'We need to get you out of these clothes' he said, taking her hand again and guiding her to the bathroom.

He took a few seconds to decide on the next steps, before he went to the shower, opening the hot water, making sure it was hot enough. He kneeled down and undid her shoelace, taking her shoes and socks off as quickly as possible.

'Hop in' he ordered her, as she quirked an eyebrow at him. 'You're going to get into a hypothermal state. Just get in' he explained, his patience running out.

She did as he told her, feeling the warmth of the hot water against her skin. She watched him assessing the situation before she suddenly found him next to her, his hair run down by the water. He reached for her clothes then, a knot forming in her stomach when she found out what he was trying to do. She tried to remove her shirt herself, but couldn't feel anything in her extremities, the numbness preventing her from controlling her hands.

'I got this' he whispered, as she held her breath, watching the water run his bare torso down his grey sweatpants. His hands went to her shirt, delicately removing her hands out of it, before passing it above her head, her wet hair falling graciously on her freckled skin. He took a second to inhale deeply at the sight of her black bra, before he spoke awkwardly.

'Can you remove your pants?' he asked, hoping he wouldn't have to do it himself.

She nodded, and he understood that she was going to try. She pushed her pants down with great effort, and he bent down to help her as soon as it got to her knees. She used his shoulders to keep balances, her fingernails digging in his skin as he removed the last part of her pants. His eyes travelled up her legs, remembering that spot on her thighs that made her moan.

She wore black panties, matching her bra and reminding Harvey of how beautiful she was. He adjusted his posture, standing in front of her, holding her hands. He started rubbing them between his, trying to make the blood flow back to her fingertips. He felt some warmth returning to them, while Donna noticed how his eyes filled with concern as they met hers. She tried to muster a smile, to tell him she was ok, but felt her face still numb from the cold, until she felt his hands on it.

His hands cupped her face, his thumb sweeping over her cheeks, trying to warm every inch of them. One of his hands moved to her forehead, checking for the temperature. He then felt her temperature go back to normal, the hand he had on her arm not feeling as hot in contrast with her skin.

Harvey exhaled deeply, one of his hands resting on the wall next to her head. He looked long into her eyes, before his head dropped down in defeat.

'Don't ever do that again' he said. His tone is soft, tired, relieved.

She didn't say anything, one of her hands resting on his shoulder, in an attempt to comfort him. She wondered what would happen if she just kissed him – if for once she acted on that impulse she'd been taming for years. But she didn't even have time to, as he straightened himself up again, stepping away from her.

'Take your underwear off. I'll get you boxers and a t-shirt' he explained, stepping out and reaching for a towel from the bathroom closet. He exhaled deeply as he walked out of the bathroom, silently congratulating himself for showing restrain, and trying to dry his body. He grabbed what he needed and walked inside the bathroom again.

He saw her silhouette through the glass door of the shower, hugging herself, still standing under the running water. He took a few seconds to admire how beautiful she was, remembering how much he loved her curves, and the way he felt they were made for his touch. He coughed then, speaking loudly.

'Are you ok?' he asked her.

'Yeah' he barely heard her say.

'You can use the shampoo and bath gel. I'm going to leave the fresh clothes here, next to a warm towel' he explained, before walking out of the bathroom, anxiously waiting for her. He took off his wet clothes, putting on new boxers, and seated himself on the edge of the bed.

The thought of smelling like him made her consider his offer for a second, before she squeezed the bottle between her fingers, immersing herself with the odor she used to have on her hands, back when he would let her fix his hair.

Donna stepped out of the bathroom to find Harvey sitting on the bed, his hands clasped and his head down. He raised his eyes at the sound of her footsteps, meeting her with a sincere smile.

'Hey' she whispered, suddenly ashamed of her reckless act.

'Hey' he said warmly, knowing exactly what she was thinking. He stood up, walking to face her.

'Are you ok? Warm enough?' he asked, his hands running up and down her arm, seemingly unaware of the way his touch made her skin burn.

'Yes, I'm ok Harv' she said then, smiling at him weekly.

'Do you need sweatpants?' he offered, as she shook her head in negation.

She was wearing his black boxers and an old grey t-shirt of his, but still looked spectacular.

'Let's make you some tea and get you to bed' he said, gesturing for her to lead the way. She stopped midway, turning around suddenly, making him almost crash into her.

'I'm sorry' she said, the regret clear in her voice.

'I'm glad you're here' he said, his fingers tugging a stray hair behind her ear.

She swallowed hard before turning again, walking outside the bedroom and into the kitchen.

She sat down on one of the bar stools, as Harvey walked heavily towards the cupboard to get the tea.

'Any preference? Mint, Green?' he asked her.

'Whatever you're having' she said, shrugging her shoulders.

Harvey started preparing the tea, his back still to her, a silence dawning on both of them.

'How are things at work?' she asked him, standing up and walking between the kitchen and living room.

He started explaining to her the latest updates, as she noticed the scattered papers everywhere, feeling a wave of guilt at the sight.

'…but I'll deal with it' Harvey said to reassure her.

'I believe in you' she said then, Harvey's body tensed for a few seconds, before relaxing again. He felt relieved to have his back to her, unsure of what he will do if he looked at her.

Donna didn't know why she said what she said. She did believe in him, since forever, and she knew for sure that he knew that. But somehow saying it felt different; and she didn't miss the way his body became rigid at her words.

It's then that she noticed them; the papers related to Jason's accident. She felt something in her stomach; knots, butterflies, she wasn't sure. But mostly she felt a rush of affection towards Harvey that she had never felt before. She realized he'd been working so hard, staying with her at the hospital, and still finding time to follow up on her brother's accident, although she never asked.

She walked towards where he stood, watching the muscles of his bare back move as he turned off the stove. She didn't think then, throwing her arms around his waist, resting her lips on his back. Harvey felt his skin burn under her lips, leaving what was in his hands to reach for hers. He turned around to face her, his hands clenching the counter behind him, trying to keep his hands off of her.

'Hey' he said, the corner of his lips twitching in a smile.

She didn't say a word, looking at him the way she had never allowed herself to, at least when he was looking. She had lust in her eyes, as she searched for his, her body closing up on his.

'Donna' he whispered, noticing that she was getting closer.

Her hands rested on his torso, caressing it up on down, as he struggled with words, her eyes never leaving his.

He found himself staring at her pulpy velvety lips, the thoughts in his head now completely scattered.

She locked her hands behind his neck, using it to push herself up, her nose brushing his, his hands going to her waist.

'Donna' he repeated this five lettered word that has been dancing on the tip of his tongues for over a decade.

She closed what was left of a distance between them, her lips gently crashing on his. He was too stunned to react at first, before he started kissing every inch of them, as if trying to memorize how they felt. He held her face in his hand, brushing her cheek with his thumb before it rested on her lips, stopping the kiss. He caressed her lips with his thumb, his eyes still lost in hers.

'Are you sure?' he asked her then, and it's all it took for her insides to burn.

Her lips touched his brain as they touched his lips, her arms bringing his face closer to hers. He pulled her close to him, his arms wrapping around her waist as he deepened the kiss.

It wasn't any kiss; a kiss that had been suspended in the air between them for over a decade, that had remained hidden behind glass offices and late night drinks, a kiss that had been lost and now was found. In the moment of that kiss were years of success, searching, disillusionment and heartbreak.

Harvey knew he had never kissed someone that way before. It was passionate, delicate and desperate. His hands had traveled up her back, fisting in her hair as he pulled her head back, kissing her neck slowly, teasingly. Donna searched for his lips again, kissing them with such finality that it terrified him, the idea of letting her go. She bit on his lower lip and neck, his hands swiftly lifting her up above him, as her legs crossed around his waist.

He looked up at her with great intensity, wondering then if he was just dreaming. But then he felt her fingers dive into his hair, massaging his scalp as he kissed her over and over again, walking slowly towards the bed.

He kneeled down on the bed, bringing her down with him, not breaking the kiss. His hands travelled up and down her body, tracing her curves, as she arched her body towards his at his touch. Her hands reached for the waistband of his boxers before he stopped her, taking both her hands in his, their fingers intertwining. He pinned her hands around her head, kissing her, his body hovering above hers.

'Harvey' she begged, her eyes closed.

'Open your eyes' he requested to her surprise.

She did as he told, getting lost in his eyes.

'You're beautiful' he blurted out, noticing Donna's cheeks flushing, her lips reaching for his.

He kissed her again, before dropping next to her, leaning on his side to face her.

She rested a hand on his torso, letting it go dangerously low, before she started toying with the waistband of his boxers again.

He stopped her hand by holding it and dragging it up again. She looked at him with surprise, as he thought about the words to say.

'We shouldn't do this' he whispered, before realizing she might get the wrong idea. 'I mean God I want to Donna' he started explaining, his eyes lustily looking at her lips, his thumb absent mindedly caressing her skin. 'But we shouldn't, not like this. You're-' he continued, before she silenced him by her lips on his. Did he just admit that he had wanted this? He bit on her lower lip, his hand resting on her lower back as he brought her closer to him. He didn't know how long he could fight it. _Mitchell,_ he thought, but couldn't get himself to say.

She moaned as he sucked on her lip, before he stopped to catch a breath.

'Donna. You're confused, you're sleep deprived' he said between kisses. He wasn't even sure she was hearing it. 'I don't want to take advantage of this' he was finally able to say. She looked at him with stars in her eyes, as if he had said the most out of the ordinary thing.

'Maybe you don't, but mini Harvey here sure does' she said, pointing to his arousal. He didn't say a word before he burst into laughter. He didn't expect her to say that, too anxious she would get the wrong message. He laughed at how normal that exchange felt.

'You and I both know mini Harvey is no mini at all' he whispered seductively into her ear, as she melted in his arms.

'Seriously though Donna, I think you should have a clearer mind when we do this' he said then, urging her to look him in the eyes, hoping she'd see he was trying to be a better man, for her.

She gave him her usual scrutinizing look, the one she saved for when she wanted to read him.

'Okay' she whispered then against his lips.

'Okay' he repeated holding her close.

She kissed him again, deeply, passionately, before she curled up next to him, resting her head on his chest, just above his heart, one of his hands wrapped around her.

'Tell me a story' she said then, knowing the sound of his voice would make her fall asleep.

'Hmmm' he said, thinking about one.

'Once upon a time, in a faraway city, lived a very handsome prince named…Regulus' Harvey started improvising.

'That's a very odd name' she mumbled in a sleepy tone.

'Shh it gets interesting' he said, caressing her hair, as she snuggled against him, a small smile creeping up on her face, the sound of his heartbeats in her ear.

'Regulus was a very hardworking man, the very best at his job, making his whole life about it. He didn't care about being a prince. Just like any other man, Regulus lived amongst the people. A private guy, he had little friends and a very small family. One day, after saving his city from a very dangerous man, Regulus' coworkers insisted upon celebrating, by inviting him to have drinks in a local bar. His eyes caught a figure in the corner of the bar, a woman with red hair, sitting with a woman of the same age. Women who went to bars at that time often had bad reputations; but the prince had a feeling this woman was different.

She approached him first. An arrogant charming man, he thought she only sought bodily pleasures, but boy was he wrong. She might not have been a princess by title, but he thought she earned it anyways. Her red bangs fell gracefully on her forehead, her eyes warm, smart, perceptive. And her lips; he was sure they were made of the tastiest fruits in heaven' Harvey spoke softly, unsure if Donna had fallen asleep. She caressed his stomach to make him continue. She had a small smile on the corner of her lips, anxiously waiting for the rest of the story.

'He bought her a drink, as they sat in the corner of the bar and he found himself drawn and intrigued by this woman. Her name was Diane. He stared and talked at the woman's red hair and amused face for what seemed to be a few minutes; and then, remembering he had come here with coworkers, rose to his feet. To his astonishment, he discovered the whole bar was empty. Everyone had gone long ago, and he went with a rather hurried expectation to see her soon. He left with a sense of champagne in his head, which he could not afterwards explain; no champagne had touched his lips' Harvey whispered.

'In the wild events which were to follow that month, as he engaged himself with a cunning man, the girl had no part at all; he only saw her again a few months later. And yet, in some indescribable way, she kept recurring like a motive in music through all his mad adventures afterwards, a warning of what she seemed to already know, and the glory of her strange hair ran like a red thread through those dark and ill-dawn tapestries of the night.

For what followed was so improbable that it might well have been a twelve years dream.

Because unlike any typical princess, Diane did not need saving. To the contrary, she had saved Regulus over and over again from the monsters inside of him, the doubts that bit at the corner of his brain, making him a better man that he thought he could ever be' Harvey continued.

'Once upon a time there was a man who realized his whole universe had changed. They said he spends his days, till now, thinking of ways to thank that woman, hoping he'd one day be able to tell her that when she smiled, he knew all was well in the world, and when she laughed, he believed in God again; that she was his sun, and that his love for her could light the whole galaxy' Harvey finished off, kissing the top of Donna's head, his eyes simultaneously closing with hers, both drifting into sleep, a small tear trapped in the corner of Donna's eye.

* * *

 _A.N: Hey guys! First of all thank you all for the crazy amount of reviews I got on last chapter, I hope you like this one just as much. Let me know what you think, I personally enjoyed writing it._

 _Don't forget to drop a review, and thanks again for reading!_

 _-G_


	6. Chapter 6

Donna woke up a couple of hours later, feeling cold from the empty space on her stomach, the one that was covered by Harvey's arms, not long ago.

Or was she dreaming? She remembered a story about a prince. She must've been dreaming.

She opened her eyes to realize that she was indeed, in Harvey's bed. She extended her arm to the space next to her, her fingers grasping the thin air, before her arm fell heavily.

She closed her eyes again, remembering every detail about the night before; how he had kissed her like he kissed her soul, how gentle he was, how caring. He had refused to sleep with her because he thought she was confused, not thinking clearly, and it was true.

She wondered then if he had left his apartment to give her space, to avoid the awkwardness, as she felt ashamed of her needy acts. But then she saw him, walking into his bedroom, two cups of coffee in his hands.

He was wearing boxers only, and she took a second to admire his body in the daylight, the way his hair was shuffled in every direction possible.

'Good morning' he said quietly, sitting next to her on the edge of the bed, handing her one of the cups.

He smiled warmly once her eyes met his, dissipating the anxiousness she felt.

'Morning' she answered, a small smile on her lips, her hands hugging the cup for warmth.

'Did you sleep well?' he asked her with a bit of playfulness, tugging a strand of hair behind her ear.

'Yes I actually did' she said, her tone surprised, flushing a bit when his hand reached her face.

'You seem surprised' he commented.

'Well I haven't slept well in a while so..' she explained, before remembering her brother, feeling extremely guilty.

'It's still 7 in the morning' Harvey explained immediately, as if he had read her mind. 'Finish your coffee and we'll go and see Jason' he explained. She wondered then when that had happened, the sudden switch between them. She would usually take care of him, she would read his mind. But somehow, the roles had been reversed, and the unfamiliarity terrified her.

She was suddenly very aware of how little she wore, wondering what had happened to her clothes.

Again, Harvey seemed to know exactly what was on her mind.

'I put your clothes in the drier; I'll check if they've dried yet. You can have whatever you want from the closet otherwise' he said softly.

'Since when are you so good at this?' she asked him then, quirking an eyebrow.

'At what?' he asked, unsure of what she meant.

'The mind reading' she specified, actually hoping for an answer.

He laughed naturally then, his eyes sparkling in a way that made her heart flutter.

'I learned from the best didn't I?' he flirted, taking a sip from his cup to hide his smile. 'I'll check on your clothes' he said, getting up and walking out of the bedroom again.

Donna exhaled heavily. She wasn't sure what was happening; this is not the Harvey she was used to. Sure, she always knew he was an amazing man deep down, but to see it manifest itself was a far different experience.

He walked back inside his bedroom, watching her sitting down on the edge of his bed.

'No luck – they're still soaked. I'll put another run now, but help yourself to whatever you need' he said, pointing to the closet.

'I'm sorry about yesterday' she blurted out, seeing his soft expression toughen for a second, his eyes avoiding hers as he got dressed into a pair of jeans and a comfortable sweater.

'Donna, we don't have to talk about it now' he shut her down.

For the first time in a long time, Donna wasn't able to read Harvey. His expression didn't seem as clear as it usually would; was he disappointed? Hurt? She couldn't tell.

'I'll let you change. Still like peanut butter?' he asked her before walking out of the bedroom.

She nodded, biting on her lower lip, before walking to explore his closet.

She'd been here, a thousand times before, when she would pick up a suit that he needed. But she had never explored his casual section, now going through it although convinced that she couldn't find anything that wouldn't make her look like she stole someone's clothes.

She finally settled for a large black sweater that smelled too much like him, and grey sweatpants that tightened at the bottom. Just as she was about to close one of the drawers, her eyes caught something in the back of it. Her hands reached for it, her fingers trembling.

A silky pink fabric slipped through them, her hands bringing it closer to confirm her doubts. It was her gown; hers from the 'other time'. It had a tear around the hips section; he had been so eager to undress her that he tear it up from her. Her eyes even caught a faint white stain on the space covering what was between her legs; whipped cream. He had told her he'd throw it on his way home; he felt like walking that dawn.

She took a minute to grasp what she had seen, when she heard his voice.

'Did you find- ' he started, before stopping at her sight, her hand holding her gown.

'You still have this' she said. It's not an accusation, rather a very surprised statement.

He nodded, swallowing thickly. He could feel her looking at him with more confusion she had ever expressed.

'Why?' she asked him, barely whispering.

'I – I just do' he said, unable to find another excuse. Truth was, he didn't know why he still had it. He had passed several trash containers on his way home, but couldn't bring himself to throw it. Its presence brought him a sense of security; a part of her was always with him.

She didn't seem convinced by his words, so he tried again.

'I don't know Donna' he said honestly, the confusion growing on her face.

'Ok' she breathed, returning the gown where she had found it, stepping away from the closet and turning around to face him. She didn't feel like arguing; she had believed that he didn't know why he had kept it. There had been so many things in her own life she couldn't justify, things he would have the same question about. He took in how she looked, how beautiful she was.

'I look like a homeless person' she said shyly .

'You look sexy' he said playfully, his eyes undressing her.

She laughed softly, her eyes catching his.

'Let's have breakfast' he said then, breaking the contact when he felt the tension.

He had prepared peanut butter banana smoothies, topping it with something she could recognize by the look.

'Chunky Monkey?' she asked with surprise, savoring the taste in her mouth. 'Since when do you have that in your fridge?' she asked him curiously.

'I bought them the other day, you know, to give it another chance' he shrugged carelessly.

'What a liar. I knew you loved it the first time I made you eat it!' she said in excitement. 'You're just too damn stubborn' she added with amusement.

'That is not true' he answered with a pout.

It was. He had been secretly stashing his fridge with Chunkey Monkey ice cream for years, failing to explain the fascination to Scottie when she once asked.

She gave him a knowing smile, deciding it was enough to make him understand that she saw right through him. They thanked him for the delicious smoothie, as they walked outside of his apartment together, heading for the hospital.

After being informed by the doctor that the night went well and they had started decreasing the amount of sedatives, Donna and Harvey settled on the couch near Jason's bed, as Harvey opened the newspaper, reading the headlines.

Minutes passed in silence, the newspaper standing as a wall between him and her.

'Going to work today?' she asked him then, starting up a conversation.

'Not unless I'm called in; I think nothing can be done until Monday' he answered, still reading the headlines.

'Harveyyy' she nagged, folding a side of his newspaper to initiate eye contact.

'What?' he asked confused.

'I'm bored' she said sheepishly.

A smile curved his lips, endeared by her child-like behavior.

'I can't see how I can help' he stated, raising the newspaper between them again.

'You can stop blocking me out for example' she pouted, poking his newspaper until he folded it.

'Jeez Donna. Fine; now we're both bored, good?' he said, faking annoyance.

'Great' she answered with a big grin, as they fell into a comfortable silence. 'Let's do the crosswords together' she suggested, taking a pen from her purse and reaching for the newspaper. They battled for control over it, before they agreed she would be in charge – as usual.

'Capital of Zanzibar' she read out loud, as he confidently answered.

'Zanzibar City' he said.

'No it's Harare' she argued.

'It's not' he said.

'It is' she insisted.

'That would be Zimbabwe's capital' he said patiently.

'Are you the capital king now?' she mocked.

'Are you five?' he mocked back.

'Rumpf' they heard, coming from Jason, as he moved in bed, seemingly waking up.

'Donna, just count the damn number of letters; it's Zanzibar City' he repeated.

'Alright alright! Stop nagging, Prince Reggie' she teased him, nudging his shoulder with hers.

He pretended not to understand what she meant.

'Don't ever call me Reggie' he pouted.

'Regulus better?' she joked, quirking an eyebrow.

'I resent that' he argued.

'You picked your alternate name, not me' she defended herself, the corner of his mouth twitching in a smile.

'I'm sorry I kissed you' she spoke softly, putting the newspaper aside, tilting her head towards him.

He took a few second to speak, before he looked deep into her eyes.

'I'm not' he whispered sincerely, as Donna felt a lump in her throat.

They stared into each other's eyes for a while, before they were interrupted by the doctor, coming to check on Jason.

'Everything looks good; he's regaining consciousness slowly' the doctor said, much to Donna's relief. 'So it's just a matter of time now' he continued.

As soon as the doctor left, Donna and Harvey heard Jason speaking.

'Donna' he whispered, barely opening his eyes.

He squinted to make sure that the man next to his sister was Harvey.

'Oh good, Harvey; not that other idiot' Jason mumbled.

Mitchell. In the midst of everything that had happened the night before, Harvey forgot about him. He wondered where he was, and whether he should ask Donna about him.

'He's gone again' Donna whispered when Jason fell asleep at once.

She sat back down next to Harvey, who looked at her curiously.

'I saw that picture in your drawer you know' he confessed, much to her surprise.

She looked at him, wanting to make sure he was talking about THAT picture.

'Ours with dad' he specified, 'with the writing on the back' he continued as she swallowed thickly. 'Why did you keep that from me?' he asked her.

'Because I didn't know how you'd react to it. Freak out probably' she said tentatively, hoping he'd disagree.

'Probably' he said then, as she felt a stab in her heart.

He wanted to tell her that he would've freaked out before, but not anymore. Somehow, the words died in his throat, as he felt that it wasn't the right time. He wondered if she regretted what had happened between them the night before.

Just as he prepared himself to speak again, Donna's phone rang, the screen reading Mitchell. He looked away, taking his phone from his pocket and going through his messages.

Donna answered her phone, walking out of the room.

'Hey Donna, look I'm sorry' she heard Mitchell say. 'I reacted badly because I felt threatened. All I want to do is make this work, make us work. I haven't met anyone like you before and I want to fight for this' he explained.

Donna's eyes filled with tears. These are the exact words she had longed to hear, but from someone else.

'I don't know Mitchell. With everything that's going on with Jason, right now is not-' she started saying before he cut her.

'I know. I just want to see you ok? So will you have dinner with me when Jason gets better, please?' Mitchell insisted.

She took a few seconds before answering.

'Sure' she said, hearing his happy tone telling her to keep him posted on any update.

She walked into Jason's room again, as Harvey stood up.

'Mitchell coming?' he said coldly. He suddenly felt angry at her, for initiating whatever had happened the night before.

She was startled by his aggressive tone.

'Euhm – no' she said, noticing he was preparing himself to leave. 'But if you want to go Harvey, just go' she said softly, her voice slightly shaking. What was wrong with him? Things were going well before now.

Harvey felt guilty for being so harsh on her, but couldn't stand to be in that room right now.

'I think I'm going to work on Jason's case' he said in a softer tone.

'You don't have to' she argued. She didn't want to burden him anymore

'I want to!' he said, offended by her words, his voice higher than before.

An awkward silence fell between them, before he cleared his throat.

'I'll call you in a couple of hours' he finally said as she nodded silently.

They looked at each other for a second before he mirrored her nod, walking out of the room.

Donna felt a sudden urge to cry. She had no idea what was going on; she needed to know what was going on inside his head. Did he think less of her because of her actions the night before? Was he not interested? Is it the reason why he didn't sleep with her? She held her brother's hand and crashed her face on the side of his bed, trying to suppress her emotions.

Harvey took a deep breath as soon as he stepped out of the hospital, his face hit by the cold wind. He felt like walking home, staring at New York's busy streets.

A few minutes after settling down in his apartment, Harvey realized there was no way he could focus on anything. His mind kept drifting to the night before, the way she tasted, and how her touch sent a current through his body. It was everything he would ever want from anyone; it was perfect – except for Mitchell. He might be the smallest obstacle between them, but it was the most obvious one right now. Harvey wasn't delusional; he knew that there was a lot he should work on to be worthy of her, a lot they should work on together if they wanted it to work between them. He wasn't even sure he believed that people could change; so why would she want him the way he is? She didn't twelve years ago.

It all didn't matter; he didn't even know what she wanted. Her actions the night before left him utterly confused. So for the first time in a while, he decided to pick up the phone and dial a number he hadn't used in a while; it was maybe time for a final session with Dr. Agard.

* * *

 _A.N: Thanks for reading guys! I'm not super confident about this chapter, but I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless. I am struggling a bit with motivation, so all reviews are most welcomed (and needed)._

 _Sorry I kept you waiting longer than usual; writer's block is difficult._

 _Don't forget to drop a review,_

 _-G_


	7. Chapter 7

Dr. Paula Agard opened the door and found Harvey standing there, looking tired.

"Come in" she said, as he seated himself on the couch facing hers, like every time. He hadn't been there in three weeks, when he decided to resign from the firm.

Since then, a lot had happened; Mike's arrest made him stay and he had managed to get him off the hook. Harvey and Mike's resignation was still effective; but they were still on their thirty days notice.

"What's so urgent Harvey?" Paula asked skeptically.

"It's Donna" he said in that voice he always used when saying her name, something Paula had noticed from the first day.

"You got into a fight?" she asked, expecting him to nod.

He shook his head instead, his hands clasped as he looked down on them.

"Something happened last night and I don't know what to do" he admitted, finding the courage to look at Paula.

"You slept together" Paula stated, rather than asked.

"No" he said promptly. "Mistaken twice doc, not at your best today" he teased, as a small smile eased her way to her lips.

"Well I have to admit, I'm intrigued. Tell me what happened" she said, adjusting her posture and leaning forward in anticipation, scrutinizing his every expression.

"Her brother got into a severe accident; a hit and run. I've been keeping her company at the hospital for day" he started explaining.

"That's thoughtful" Paula commented.

"Always the tone of surprise" he teased, a small smile on his face.

She laughed lightly.

"So you've been spending the whole time with her? What about work?" Paula asked.

"Not exactly. I was taking "shifts", or so to speak. With Mitchell" he said bitterly. "And I'd take those few hours to go to work"

"Who's Mitchell?" Paula asked curiously, knowing already the answer. She wanted to study his reaction.

"Donna's boyfriend" he answered, trying to contain his dislike.

"Oh" Paula simply said.

"Not a very good one if you ask me" he couldn't help but say.

"No? How so?" Paula curiously asked.

"Well he didn't even make the effort to stay with her" Harvey explained, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"But you did" she stated as he nodded carefully.

"And you're wondering how he gets to be her boyfriend when you're the one being there for her every step of the way" she continued, using his very own words.

" _And when I was with you every step of the way, it didn't mean anything?" he had angrily asked Donna's image in one of his previous sessions._

"I didn't say that" he said defensively.

"But you meant it" Paula pushed.

"What if I did?" Harvey answered.

"Then you're starting to understand how it felt for Donna" Paula said with a satisfaction in her tone.

"How it felt for Donna to what? I don't understand" Harvey said, although he had an idea what she meant.

"You have a glimpse of how Donna felt the last twelve years of your relationship. She was there every step of the way wasn't she?" Paula explained.

He nodded.

"And yet, she's seen you with countless girlfriends, correct?" she continued.

"Not girlfriends-" he argued.

"Hookups, one night stands, whatever. Semantics Harvey" Paula insisted, knowing he was evading the question.

"I s'ppose" he said.

"Then I can assure you that she wondered the same thing you are now; why she wasn't enough" Paula concluded softly.

Harvey paused for a second, taking in the information. That wasn't helping; it added to his confusion.

"Can I continue my story?" he asked, irritated, when he didn't know what to say.

She nodded.

"Anyway, you don't know Donna, but she's usually so strong, one of the strongest women I know; but she was a mess" Harvey continued patiently.

"I know her" Paula said.

"What?" he asked in surprise.

"I met Donna" Paula admitted. She wanted to check if he knew that.

"When?"Harvey asked, getting agitated.

"She came here on our last session, looking for you; you had just left" Paula said, studying his face.

He didn't say a word, trying to grasp what he had heard.

"She knows?" Harvey asked in disbelief.

"She knows. She's some woman Harvey" Paula commented with a slight tone of admiration in her voice.

Harvey ignored the second part.

"Didn't you think I would want to know? Why didn't you tell me she came here? Why didn't you tell me that she knows?" Harvey asked, now obviously angry.

"Because I thought she'd tell you" Paula said calmly.

"Well she didn't! And I thought that I had it under control thanks to you!" he was furious.

"You can yell all you want Harvey, but I know you're not mad at me" Paula said firmly, her voice slightly higher.

"Like hell I am! You are MY therapist! You're supposed to tell me" he kept shouting.

"Why?" Paula pushed. She knew his anger was directed at Donna, that she could once again push him to imagine her in front of him.

"Because you don't keep things from me!" Harvey shouted.

* * *

" _Because you don't keep things from me!" Harvey had yelled in the women's bathroom._

" _You keep things from me all the time" Donna had answered with equal anger._

" _That's because I'm your boss" he had said, assuming that those "things" she meant were work related; as far as he knew, he wasn't and couldn't hide anything personal from her._

* * *

Harvey snapped out of his thoughts, finding Paula looking at him curiously.

"So Donna is not allowed to keep things from you. Why is that?" she asked him.

"Because she's supposed to be loyal to me" he said firmly.

"Because you used to pay her?" Paula asked. She wanted to push all his buttons.

"Again with this? No! Because this is what our relationship is based on; trust, loyalty, complicity" he enumerated with anger.

"Your professional relationship perhaps" Paula pointed out. "Not the personal one" she said.

"They're the same to me" he argued. It was true; he never was able to separate the two.

Paula inhaled sharply.

"Ok Harvey, then let me ask you this" she said patiently. "You never kept things from her?" she asked.

"No" he answered confidently.

"Never?" she asked skeptically.

"Not if it concerned her" he started explaining. "But this, it is about ME, so she's supposed to tell me about it" he continued.

"Why did she leave you Harvey?" Paula asked.

"What does that have to do with anything? And I told you -" he said defensively.

"I think it has to do with everything, and I don't think you told me the full story" she said calmly.

"Well I don't want to talk about it" he pouted.

"Then I cannot help you Harvey" she said sincerely.

She watched him ponder over her words for the next few seconds.

"I just want to know why she didn't tell me" he said quietly.

"It could be for a number of reasons. Maybe she thought that if you didn't tell her, then maybe you didn't want her to know and you don't want to talk about it. Maybe she couldn't find the right time" Paula explained.

"Last night her brother had a minor setback. He was sedated and she was advised to get some rest. I told her to come to my place since it is two minutes away from the hospital. She refused. So I left her and I went home, started working on some things" he started explaining, hoping somehow she'd help him without him having to tell her about why Donna had left.

"She called me a couple of hours later, said she couldn't get any sleep. So we talked for a long time. I told her a story hoping it would get her to sleep" he continued.

"What story?" Paula asked curiously.

"Guess how much I love you" he said, as a small smile appeared on Paula's lips. "What?" he asked her, wondering why she was smiling.

"Interesting choice. Go on" she encouraged him.

"We hung up and I continued to work. I heard a knock around 1 in the morning. I opened the door to find her there, soaked to the skin. She had walked from the hospital" he said. "Anyway I let her in, put her in the shower under hot water, and gave her fresh clothes" he continued, before stopping.

"And then?" Paula asked, seeing that he was struggling with what to say.

"She kissed me" he said, avoiding her eyes.

"Did you kiss her back?" Paula asked.

"Not at first. I tried to stop her but she didn't seem to care and I – I just stopped caring too" he explained softly.

"Caring about what exactly? And why did you stop her Harvey? Were you not interested?" she asked him, noticing how uncomfortable it made him to talk about it.

"No it's not that" he said, deciding to opt for the truth. "I wanted to – really wanted to. But she was confused and I didn't know if it was what she really wanted" he explained, still avoiding his therapist's piercing eyes.

"But then you kissed her back" she repeated.

"Yes, I told you that I wanted to" he said, annoyed.

"What happened then?" she asked him.

"It escalated and I took her to bed" he explained.

"But you told me you didn't sleep with her" Paula commented.

"That's because I didn't" he confirmed.

"She realized what she was doing and stopped you?"

He shook his head.

"No. I told her that she was sleep deprived and confused, that I didn't want to take advantage of her like that. So we just slept" he recited.

"I don't think you 'stopped caring' as you said. To the contrary; this is a pure act of care" she said, somehow proudly.

He didn't say anything.

"And what about the next morning?" Paula asked. "Did you talk about it?"

"No. She wanted to but I stopped her" Harvey answered.

"And why is that?" she asked him curiously.

"I don't know. She shouldn't have to deal with this now" he said, shrugging his shoulders.

"I don't think that's the truth, and I think you know the real reason why you stopped her" Paula spoke.

"What are you saying?" Harvey asked, a bit of hostility in his voice.

"I'm saying that you stopped her because you didn't want to have this conversation; because you either don't know what to say, or you are too afraid of what she might have to say. And I think it's both" she said firmly, his face confirming her theory.

"Every time I have to talk about something, I screw it up" he admitted.

"That's not entirely true. You're doing well here Harvey" Paula encouraged him.

He snorted.

"That's not the same; having to talk to you about things that do not concern you is much easier than talking to the concerned person" he explained.

She nodded silently.

"Okay Harvey. I'm going to speak freely here" she said, not really asking for his permission.

"Please, by all means" he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"I know you told me that Donna had gotten herself in trouble and you helped her, and then she left you" she started, as he lowered his eyes, nervously adjusting his sleeves. "But it got me thinking, why would she do that? Why would she leave you when you had just saved her?" Paula asked not really waiting for an answer.

He gave her one anyway.

"She felt bad and that she wasn't at the top of her game like usually" he said tentatively, his tone lacking the usual Specter conviction.

"That's not true is it?" she asked him, as he finally nodded in agreement.

"I think that you were overwhelmed with the danger she was in, and you did something. Maybe you kissed her, maybe you said something" Paula suggested, waiting for his poker face to change. He resisted it.

"But then you took it back, and she decided to leave" she continued.

"I didn't take it back" he said in a low voice, prompting her to ask him what he had said.

"I didn't take it back" he said louder. She waited for him to continue. If she had learned one thing from her sessions with Harvey, it's that he should be pushed enough to open up, but not too much to build the walls back.

He pinched the bridge of his nose.

"We were celebrating at her place, just me and her, and I had a bit too much wine. She thanked me again for saving her and apologized for doubting in me" he started, barely looking at Paula before looking back at his hands.

"I told her that anybody losing faith in me, it didn't matter. But with her it's different" he said, remembering how beautiful she looked and how much he wanted to kiss her, his eyes wandering between her lips and startled eyes.

"How is she different?" Paula asked him then.

He took a moment to think about her question.

"She just is" he said simply. Dr. Agard wasn't convinced, and he could tell. "I am where I am because she of all the people believed in me" he said.

"But so do Jessica…and Mike, and Louis" Paula enumerated.

"Professionally yes. But she – she believed in my goodness, the same goodness I doubted time after time" he clarified.

She nodded, the corner of her mouth twitching in a smile.

"Says the man who doesn't believe the personal and professional are separable" she teased.

He rolled his eyes, unable to suppress a small smile.

"What happened then?" she asked him.

"I told her that I should go" he continued.

"Why?" Paula asked.

"That's what she asked me; but I'm not sure if she asked me why she was different or why I should go" he explained.

Paula nodded.

"And I told her that she knew why. When she insisted that she didn't, I said it" Harvey said.

"Said what?" Paula pushed.

* * *

" _You know I love you Donna" he had said, surprised by his own words. He had never said those words to anyone; not alive at least. He had said it to the stone upon his father's grave, a few years too late. He noted her shocked expression, reflecting the chaotic heartbeats in his chest._

 _He left before she had time to say anything, before the reality of what he had said would hit him in the face. He thought he was saving them by leaving; if only he knew he would be doing the exact opposite._

* * *

"And you just left?" Paula asked, surprised by this turn of events. She didn't expect him to have said it.

"Yes. She tried to talk to me about it the next day. I panicked and I told her that I said it to make her feel better" he said, as Paula's eyes widened in surprise. "I know, not one of my finest moments" he quickly added. "Then I tried to make it better, telling her that I said it because I love her and I want her to know it" he continued. "She asked me something and I couldn't answer, so she decided to leave"

"What did she ask you?" Paula said.

"How I loved her" he explained, as Paula nodded, looking at him and assessing how to move on from here.

He started talking again.

"Anyway" he said, trying to bring the topic back to its initial course, "last night confused me" he said.

"Are we ignoring the big bombshell you just dropped?" she asked sarcastically.

"I came here to talk about this, not about that" he said.

"When are you going to understand that it's all the same?" she asked firmly.

He ignored her.

"Ok Harvey, I'll humor you" she said, crossing her arms. "What confused you exactly?" she asked.

"Her. She had this rule, about not getting involved with people she worked with, and I've been respecting this rule for over a decade. She just broke it yesterday, and I want to know why" he said.

"Maybe because it's like you said; she was vulnerable and her judgment was clouded" Paula said, well aware it was not what he wanted to hear. His pout said it all.

"So you're saying she regrets it?" he said, hurt.

"That's a question you will have to ask her Harvey, not me" Paula said. "When did this rule first come up?" she asked again, trying to get to the root of this complex relationship.

"Back at the D.A's office. I used to pursue her, tease her by telling her that she was into me" he explained, remembering how good things were back then, how easy.

"After admitting that she had thought about it, she told me she didn't get involved with men she worked with" he continued. "And after we slept together she agreed to come to this firm by reinforcing her rule" he recited.

"Wait, you slept together? I thought you told me she didn't get involved with men she worked with" Paula asked, confused.

"She quit before me, and when I did, I went to her place…" he whispered. "The next day I told her that I didn't want to lose her, and I want her to come to my new work with me" he explained.

"And she not working for you would have meant the end of your relationship?" Paula asked.

He nodded.

"I wasn't ready for a relationship" he commented as she silently nodded.

"She agreed to work for me, but said that we should put that night out of our minds and never speak about it again" he said.

"Look" Harvey said, trying to summarize the past twenty minutes. "I don't know why she did what she did yesterday, I don't know if it meant something to her. All I know is that she is with Mitchell, and I don't know what to do" he explained, his tone broken.

"How do you feel about it Harvey?" Paula asked then.

"I enjoyed it of course. She's a beautiful woman" he said quickly.

"So it's all you felt? Physical attraction?" she pushed.

"No. It felt…right" he finally admitted, closing his eyes, missing Paula's wide smile. "It felt like I've done it a hundred times, like every other kiss I shared with anyone else was misplaced" he softly said. "Like I want to keep doing it" he finally said, opening his eyes and seeing Paula's affectionate smile.

"You should tell her all that Harvey" she said.

"She'd want more; more explanation, definitions, and I'm not good at that" he argued.

"You've already said the hard part" she said encouragingly.

"What if she doesn't want a relationship? What about her rule?" he asked, as her lips turned into the biggest smile he had seen on her face.

"What?" he asked confused.

"You just admitted you want a relationship with Donna" she said. "And you're way past a twelve years ld rule Harvey"

He rolled his eyes. "Don't congratulate yourself too much, this could all go to shit" he said.

"If she doesn't want it, then you would've tried" she said, noticing that he wasn't convinced. "Look Harvey, you can't wait for her to say something because you're afraid of risking your own heart. I think she's done it over and over again, but you were too blind to see"

* * *

" _Is this about you?" he had asked her, seeing her expression turn into a mix of shock and embarrassment._

" _No" she had said_ , _offended, her tone however very definitive._

 _He had no idea about the words that had died in her throat: "Can't you see what's staring you right in the face?"_

* * *

She was right, and he knew it.

"What about Mitchell?" he asked her.

"What about him? The Harvey I know would put up a fight" Paula said.

"But she's happy and I – I want her to be happy" he said gently.

"If it's the case then she'll tell you. You just have to wear your heart upon your sleeve Harvey. Show her how much you love her, how she means the world to you" she said softly.

"How do I do that?" he asked her.

"Let her look into your eyes; she'll see it" Paula said with a tender smile, one he reciprocated immediately.

"You've come a long way Harvey, I'm very proud of you" she continued. "Just be the man she always believed you were" she finally said.

He got up, taking a deep breath.

"Thank you Paula" he said sincerely, before walking out.

* * *

 _A.N: Ok guys! Big chapter! I'm not sure how I feel about it, but I hope you enjoyed it._

 _What do you think will happen? Will Harvey tell Donna? Is she going to pick him over Mitchell?_

 _I would love to read your review, so don't forget to drop one_

 _-G_


	8. Chapter 8

Harvey left Dr. Agard's office and checked his phone, finding three voice messages from Donna. His heart raced quickly, pressing the play button.

" **Jason is starting to wake up – just letting you know"** he heard her say.

" **Harvey, get your ass in here man"** it was Jason this time. **"Sorry, you know how stubborn he is"** Donna continued.

" **Where are you? Look I know we need to talk about things but I – I'm worried. Call me when you get this"** the last one said. Her voice had a mix of hurt and worry.

He called her immediately, but she didn't answer.

He decided to go to the hospital instead; she must be there.

He walked inside Jason's room, and found him awake, with no sign of Donna.

"Heyy Jaz" Harvey said softly, putting his hand on his arm. "How are you feeling buddy? You scared us" he said, as a small smile appeared on Jason's face.

"Never been better" Jason joked, his voice hoarse.

"Where's Donna?" Harvey finally asked, seeing an indistinctive look on Jason's face – was it pity?

"Mitchell passed by, they're getting coffee" Jason said delicately.

"Oh" Harvey answered, seating himself on the nearby couch. He didn't miss the way Jason tried to study his face.

"What ever happened between you two?" Jason asked, as Harvey exhaled heavily.

"Nothing" he said; he really didn't feel like talking about it all over again. He had just emptied himself to Paula and wasn't about to do it again.

"Look things aren't that good with Mitchell" Jason tried to explain, before he noticed Harvey's gaze on something outside the room.

"It doesn't seem that way" Harvey barely whispered, watching Harvey and Mitchell through the window of the room.

She had his back to him, Mitchell holding her hand, his face smiling. He leaned in and whispered something in her ear, making her laugh softly, making Harvey's blood boil in his veins. He kissed her hastily then, before leaving.

Donna walked inside the room, lost in thoughts.

"Oh you're here" she said when she saw Harvey.

"Yeah" he said awkwardly, unable to hide the hurt from his eyes.

"What did he want?" Jason asked her.

She turned around and gave him a dark look, but he didn't seem to back up.

"It's private" she said, turning to face Harvey again, who tried to avoid her eyes.

"What about him? Doesn't he deserve to know?" Jason pushed.

"Leave it Jason" Harvey told him.

"Deserve to know?" Donna asked confused, looking back and forth between the two. She was getting angry by the second, and she wasn't sure why.

"You told him?!" she shouted, addressing Harvey.

"Told me what?" Jason said, overlapping Harvey's calm "I didn't say anything"

Tears were forming in Donna's eyes. She was confused and mad; mat at herself for opening the doors on feelings she had buried deep down long ago.

"Where were you anyway?" she asked Harvey, emotional.

"I had a meeting" he said from the top of his head.

"No you didn't" she argued, still angry. Harvey had no idea why she was so mad; he should be the one shouting.

"With Dr. Agard" he specified, as she was surprised by his honesty.

She didn't say a word.

"I know you know" he said, as she avoided his eyes. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked her, surprised by his own calm.

"I thought that if you want it brought up, you would've brought it up" she said tentatively, using the same words he said when he saved her. "I figured you didn't want me to know" she continued.

"It's not that" he said, lowering his eyes to the ground. "I couldn't tell you because I was ashamed" he whispered. "And because I didn't want to force anything on you" he added.

She silently bit her lower lip, waiting for him to explain more.

"I didn't want to guilt you into coming back to work for me" he said, swallowing hard.

"Can someone explain to me what is happening?" Jason finally said, looking back and forth between the two. "Harvey man, did something happen to your penis? Is that why you're ashamed?" Jason asked in all seriousness.

Harvey burst out laughing at Jason's concern.

"No, everything is perfectly excellent in that department" he said, making sure to catch Donna's eyes.

"Then what is it?" Jason said.

"Long story. When are you being discharged?" Harvey asked, trying to change the topic.

"Tomorrow around noon" Jason answered.

"He's supposed to stay till after tomorrow but he's just so damn stubborn" Donna complained.

"The doc agreed I could fly home tomorrow, stop being such a mom" Jason nagged.

"Hey, don't talk like that to your sister, she's been worried sick about you for days; she gets to be concerned" Harvey said firmly.

"Sorry Dad" Jason mocked, before looking at his sister with apologetic eyes. "Look I'm sorry, but you know I can't stay trapped in this room. I promise I'll take it easy" he added as she nodded, holding his hand.

"I'm hungry" he continued, making Donna smile.

"I'll check with the doc when they're giving you something to eat" Harvey said, walking towards the door. He brushed past Donna, as she struggled not to reach for him, her fingers clasping the fabric of her clothes instead.

As soon as he left, Jason looked at his sister.

"Are you still with that loser?" he asked her impatiently.

"He's not a loser" Donna argued, tired.

"Are you still with him?" Jason repeated.

"No" she said, seeing the relief on her brother's face.

"You need to tell Harvey that" he said.

"And why is that?" she asked him, huffing in disagreement.

"Because he's hurt" Jason said.

"You don't know Harvey Jaz" she reasoned, shaking her head. "I told him weeks ago and he didn't even bat an eyelash" she said.

"I bet it isn't true. You should've seen his face when he knew you were having coffee with Mitchell" Jason pushed.

"Stop it Jason! Why are you doing this? He's had a million chances to do something about us if he wanted to" she said, emotions taking over. "The only reason he's possibly hurt is because he's so selfish that he'd rather I be unhappy then lose to someone" she said, seeing a weird expression on Jason's face. She knew she wasn't being fair, but her brother pressuring her caused her to defend herself, even if she had to say harsh things.

"Donna…" Jason tried to stop her, glancing behind her. She realized then what Jason was looking at; Harvey. She felt a lump in her throat as she turned around and found Harvey with a hurt expression on his face, his shoulders bent, his eyes glassy.

"Harvey I-" she said, her voice breaking.

"Don't bother" he said, walking to the couch to take his jacket, defeat in his every inch of his body. "They're getting you food in ten minutes; I managed to convince them to add some barbecue sauce" he said quietly, Jason thanking him with a smile.

He brushed against Donna on his way out once again; this time she grabbed his forearm, tears forming in her eyes, silently begging him to stay. Words wouldn't come out of her mouth.

He looked down at her hands, warm on his forearm, barely looking up at her before releasing himself from her, walking out.

"Harvey please" she was finally able to say to his back.

Donna burst into tears as soon as he left, crashing on the couch near Jason's bed, her head in her hands.

"Donna" Jason called her tenderly.

"I didn't mean it" she said between sobs.

"I know, I know" he said, trying to pat her head but she was too far. "You should talk to him" he said gently.

She shook her head. "He wouldn't want to listen" she murmured.

"You won't know until you try. Come here" he said, sitting up and making space for her next to him, as she continued sobbing on his shoulder.

* * *

Harvey walked outside of the hospital, grateful for the cold weather, bringing fresh (but frozen) air to his lungs. His chest was hurting, as he felt an indescribable pain in his heart, bringing a whole new literal meaning to feeling a knife twist in one's heart.

He couldn't believe what he had heard; did she really think so low of him? That he'd rather see her unhappy then lose a battle? She couldn't. She must know that all he ever wanted was for her to be happy.

He realized then that maybe she didn't know, that he had always expected too much of her. He was stupid; he expected her to know something he had only realized hours ago.

Her words reverberated in his ears over and over, his vision blurry, his lungs collapsing. He quickly opened the door to his apartment, barely making it to the bathroom, taking off the layers of clothes on his way. He threw up as soon as he stepped inside the bathroom, feeling a drill going through his head. He collapsed on the bathroom, leaning on the bathtub, cold sweat dripping from his face.

His phone vibrated in his pocket.

It read: 2 new voice messages - Donna.

He opened the first one, followed by the second

 **I didn't mean what I said. I'm sorry.**

 **Please pick up.**

Her voice in the second message was completely broken; she was crying.

His heart winced in pain at the image of a teary Donna; he never could see her hurt. He stood up then, washing his face and looking at his pale reflection.

He needed a drink, and sleep. He drank half a bottle by himself, barely able to drag his feet to bed.

His phone buzzed again.

 **Harvey**.

Her messages seem to get shorter by the minute. She called again.

 **I-**

I what? He wondered. He decided to answer her; ironically, the last thing he wanted was to hurt her more.

 **I need some time.**

Donna's heart started beating fast when she received a text from Harvey. He needed time.

She bit her lip, trying to fight the tears away, wondering how long it would be before he let her tell him what she really thought; that beneath his armor lies a heart of gold, that she wished he was as selfish as she painted him to be, that maybe then her heart wouldn't be utterly and completely in his hands.

* * *

 _A.N: Hey guys! Sorry for the long wait, I've been very busy this past week. I know this chapter is shorter than usual, but I felt it was right to cut it here; next chapter should be heavy, so brace yourselves._

 _I'll try not to take long to update._

 _Don't forget to let me know what you think by dropping a review._

 _-G_


	9. Chapter 9

Giving him the space he needed turned out to be harder than she thought. It was only a day after he heard her telling her brother things she didn't mean, but she still found herself fighting the instinct to go to his office, changing paths every time she got close, something Mike didn't miss.

"Are you ok?" Mike asked her, after she had made a 180 turn for the 5th time that day.

"Yes" she said, trying to put on her usual confident smile.

"Are you sure? Did something happen with Harvey?" he asked her.

"Why, did he tell you anything?" she asked, a little too quickly.

"No, but now I'm sure something did happen." Mike pointed out to her odd behavior. "Plus he's distant today" he added.

"Distant?" she asked, hoping for more explanation.

"His mind is somewhere else" Mike said. "Can I do anything about it?" he asked her.

"Thanks puppy" she said with a weak smile, shaking her head, before walking back to her desk.

It didn't help that she ran into him at lunch break, as they both stepped into the elevator.

"Hey" she said with a tentative smile.

He smiled back faintly.

"Hey" he said, his eyes focused on the elevator door, as if impatient to get out.

"Lunch?" she said awkwardly, as he nodded. "Why don't you join Rachel and me?" she proposed.

"No you ladies go ahead. I'm sure you have a lot to talk about" he said, only realizing too late the bitterness in his voice. He noticed how her head shot back slightly in surprise at his aggressive comment.

"About the wedding I mean" he added for clarification, hoping it'd make things better.

He missed the tears forming in her eyes.

They stepped inside the elevator together again around 5.

She hit the 47th button, and him the GF button. He held his suitcase in his hand, jacket on. She hoped he'd be curious enough to ask her why she was going a few floors down. But he didn't. He struggled to keep the words inside.

"Meeting?" she asked then, trying to catch his eyes. "I can't believe the things Louis makes me do. There's this guy on the 47th with whom he's been having a feud with for weeks. I'm supposed to fix it" she said a little too dramatically, trying to joke.

He laughs lightly, his voice hoarse.

"Heading home" he said, much to her surprise. In the 12 years they had worked together, he had never left this early.

"Are you ok?" she asked with concern, angling her body towards his.

"Yeah I'm fine Donna" he said, her name rolling off his tongue the same way it always had. "Need to start getting used to the no work situation" he added, as it hit her. It was his last week at Pearson Specter.

She felt her heart about to explode. He was dealing with so much, and yet managed to be there for her. Right before she hurt him.

"Harvey" she pleaded him, her fingers barely touching his forearm, but enough to send a shiver down his spine.

He stepped away gently, holding the door of the 47th floor for her.

"Wish Jason a safe flight from me will you?" he told her, pursing his lips. She nodded, the lump in her throat too big for words to come out.

He heard a knock on his door after half a bottle of whiskey. He waited for the second knock before getting up.

"Mike I told you I'm fine" he said before opening the door to find Jason there.

He couldn't hide his surprise.

"Well you don't look fine, you look like shit" Jason joked.

"Says the bandaged guy" Harvey joked back, making Jason laugh.

"Harv" he said, extending his hand.

"Jaz" Harvey said, taking his hand to be pulled into a 'brotherly' hug.

"What are you doing here? I thought you'd be gone by now" Harvey asked.

"Can't wait to see me go huh?" Jason teased.

"I didn't mean that" Harvey said too defensively.

"I'm kidding Harvey, relax. My plane leaves at 10" he explained.

Harvey's body relaxed from its stiffened position. He walked with an apologetic look to grab a glass a pour Jason a drink.

He extended the glass to Jason, who took it gladly.

"How have you been taking it?" Jason finally asked, as Harvey deliberately ignored his gaze.

"Taking what exactly?" Harvey asked.

"Donna" Jason immediately answered.

"There's nothing to take" Harvey said quietly, taking a big gulp of his drink.

"Harvey. You do know she didn't mean what she said. She got defensive because I was cornering her about you" Jason argued.

"But what she said is rooted in something" Harvey argued back, his tone slightly higher. He exhaled deeply. "I know that I am not the best with feelings and words, and I know that I can act coldly, but I thought with your sister – " he choked on the words, staring at the bottom of his glass.

"You know what it doesn't even matter what I thought. She's happy with Mitchell" Harvey finally said, getting up to fill his glass again, Jason's worried gaze following him.

"She's not" Jason said. "She's settling" he continued.

Harvey shook his head, refusing to believe Jason's words.

Jason sighed deeply before speaking.

"Do you remember what you told me the second time we had dinner together?" Jason asked him, as Harvey tried to recall that night.

* * *

 _[8 years ago]_

 _They were supposed to have dinner together, the three of them. Donna had told Harvey she'd meet him at the restaurant; she was helping one of the firm's employees with her wedding preparations._

 _He sat down at the bar, impatiently tapping his fingers on the luxurious wood, before he felt someone's hand on his shoulder._

" _Jason, you're here!" Harvey said, slightly surprised. He was generally late to everything, according to Donna._

" _Yes, yes, the great Jason Paulsen can sometimes, very very rarely, be on time" Jason joked, sitting next to Harvey. "Where's Donna?" he asked him then._

" _She's helping a friend of hers with wedding arrangements; she should be here soon" Harvey explained._

" _Ah yes, so very organized she is" Jason commented. "When we were kids she used to spend hours organizing mom's lipsticks according to the shades of colors. I used to mix them all to piss her off" Jason said, laughing naturally._

" _Oh yes, please, tell me embarrassing Donna stories as we wait for her" Harvey said a bit too excited, mentioning the bartender for two drinks._

 _[20 minutes later]_

" _No!" Harvey said, chuckling loudly, the surprise on his face. He was getting very tipsy, both of them having too many drinks, not realizing how much time had passed._

" _Yep. She told her drama teacher that she had a tendency to turn a blind eye when she wanted to; just like in her own marriage. Turns out Donna knew the teacher's husband was cheating on her before the teacher herself" Jason narrated._

" _Oh so she's always been very…terrifying" Harvey commented, making Jason laugh. "Where is she?" he said then, reaching for his phone. They had moved to the table he had reserved for them, sitting facing each other. He felt someone's hands on his shoulders, immediately recognizing her touch._

" _Here she is" he said cheerfully._

" _Are you drunk?" she asked him._

" _NO" Jason quickly said._

" _Oh my god you both are drunk" she said, rolling her eyes, secretly enjoying how much at ease her brother and –blank, were. She sat next to Harvey, putting her purse by her side._

" _I'm sorry I'm late there was a major crisis in wedding land" she said quickly. "I'm starving"_

" _What happened? Were the dresses not hung up in shades of colors" Harvey teased her as Jason giggled._

 _It earned him a slap on the chest._

" _Ouch Donna!" Harvey nagged, before she pinched her brother's arm._

" _This is for mocking me while I'm gone" she said, throwing her hair behind her shoulder, eyeing the menu quickly._

 _Half-way through the dinner, Donna had eaten half of Harvey's plate. He saw her then throwing a dark glance towards someone._

" _What is it?" he asked her curiously._

" _See this blonde bimbo there? She's eye-fucking you" she said, as he choked on his drink._

" _Woah easy" he said as she rolled her eyes at him._

" _Please, you've noticed" she said tentatively._

" _What if I have?" he said challenging her, as she leaned towards him._

" _Then boy, you must be desperate" she said._

" _Just cause I noticed doesn't mean I'm interested" he argued. "Jealous are we Donna?" he pushed, his face now very close to her._

" _I'm not. Plus you're half her age" she retorted._

" _Need I remind you we're the same age" he teased her._

 _She stood up, preparing herself to go to the bathroom._

" _If you ever say this again" she said warningly, leaning down towards him, filling his view with the sight of her cleavage, before she whispered something in his ear that made his eyes widen, before he burst out laughing._

" _What is it?" Jason asked._

" _Not saying" Harvey said, finally able to manage his laughter._

" _Oh come on" Jason pushed._

" _Nop. Man your sister she's…" he started._

" _Terrifying, yes I know" Jason said overlapping Harvey's words._

" _The only person who makes me that happy" Harvey blurted out, realizing he had too many a drink._

 _Jason eyed him with a big grin on his face._

" _What are you smiling about?" Harvey asked him annoyed._

" _You just admitted it" Jason said._

" _Admit what?" they heard Donna's voice as she sat back down._

 _Harvey pleaded Jason with his eyes._

" _That he's getting old" Jason improvised, as Harvey forcedly rolled his eyes, before silently thanking him._

" _That, we've established" Donna said, relaxing back in her chair. "Can we have desert now?"_

* * *

"I think what you told me that night still holds up" Jason said. "She's the only person who makes you happy, and you are the only person who does that to her too" he explained.

"You don't know that" Harvey said. "Donna and I – it's complicated" he explained.

"I'm sure it's what you tell yourselves" Jason mocked.

"What does that mean?" Harvey asked defensively.

"It means it's a load of bullshit. I could tell from the moment I met you that you two had something. First Donna tells me you're not ready. Then she's seeing someone, then you're seeing someone, but neither of you is happy. Yet you refuse to acknowledge that was you have is unique and beautiful" Jason said, getting emotional. "Remember that woman I talked to you about the first time we met? The one who made me settle down and be a better man?" he asked as Harvey nodded.

"We're getting married in two months" Jason announced, much to Harvey's surprise. "I came here to tell Donna, before the accident. It wasn't supposed to be this soon, but after this accident – time slips by man" Jason said, as Harvey dwelled on his words.

"How did you fix it? You said things didn't work out" Harvey asked curiously.

"We realized that it was a shame to waste what we had, that we were never going to find it with someone else. So we're working hard on fixing the things that didn't work out the first time around. It takes time, but it's totally worth it" Jason explained.

"Look man, you can always come up with an excuse to why it isn't the right time. But there isn't a right time. I know Donna's in love with you, and I've seen the way you look at her; like she's your whole world. Don't let her become someone else's" Jason said. "She might be content with Mitchell, but it's nothing compared to the joy you'd bring to each other. I told you nine years ago, I'm telling you again: man up and do something about it, before it's too late" he finally said.

Harvey swallowed thickly, listening to Jason's words with great attention.

"Since when are you such a wise smartass?" Harvey said then, trying to diffuse the tension in his chest.

"Please I was born this way" Jason said, reminding him a bit too much of his sister. "I'm going to head back to Donna's and pack. I'll see you at my wedding in two months" he said, getting up and hugging Harvey, who walked him towards the door.

"Hey Jason" Harvey called him before he entered the elevator. "Thank you, for this" he said, referring to the talk.

"It's nothing bro" Jason said, before stepping inside the elevator.

* * *

 _A.N: Hey guys! I hope you enjoyed reading this. I know exactly where to take this story, but I'm breaking the it up so I don't keep you waiting too long._

 _Don't forget to let me know your opinion by dropping a review – they motivate me to update faster._

 _Love,_

 _-G_


	10. Chapter 10

He walked into the office's elevator the next day, having barely slept the night before. He had fought the urge to call her, as he turned and turned in his bed, Jason's words ringing in his ears. He was so lost in thoughts that he didn't realize that Jessica had walked into the elevator, curiously observing him.

"Well good morning to you too" Jessica mocked.

"What if it isn't?" he replied, offering her a tired smile.

"Everything ok?" Jessica asked, concern in her voice.

"I don't know" he said in all honesty, his eyes fixed at the grey walls of the elevator.

"It's Donna" Jessica stated.

"How did you-?" he started before stopping. "Never mind it doesn't matter" he shrugged it off, standing straight in his usual swagger. He wasn't sure he could hear yet another person scolding him about it, especially not Jessica.

"What doesn't matter Harvey?" she asked, as he exhaled deeply. "I know because I've always known" she continued as Harvey turned to look at her, raising an eyebrow in question. "When she's ok you're ok. When she's not, you're not. When something's wrong between you two…well you're like this" she said with an amused half smirk.

"Stop exaggerating" he said annoyed.

"I'm not and you know it. What happened?" she asked him.

Suddenly the elevator ride seemed to take forever.

"I don't want to talk about it" he said, as they reached the 47th floor. The door opened just in time for Donna to enter.

"Talk about what?" she awkwardly asked, Jessica automatically moving to make space for her next to Harvey.

His fingers tap nervously against his thigh.

"Nothing" he quickly said, as Jessica snorted, making Donna look at her, her eyes begging for an explanation.

"I'm merely asking him what kept him up at night" Jessica explained, as they finally reached their floor.

Jessica stepped out first, as Harvey and Donna walked out side by side.

Jessica turned towards Harvey.

"If you don't want to talk about it then don't. But fix yourself before your next client, you look like shit" she said with a big grin, knowing how much he cared about his appearance.

He looked down at his suit, noticing his tilted tie and the wrinkles on the lapel.

His eyes go up to find her looking at him.

There's a deafening silence, as they looked into each other's eyes, before Harvey's eyes drifted to her lips.

He looked away.

"How's the feud situation?" he said to break the tension. She looked at him in confusion, not sure what he was talking about.

"You know, the Louis vs guy on the 47th floor feud" he explained, confused by her confusion.

"Oh right. I wasn't sure you were listening to me. You seemed…off" she said tentatively, her eyes searching for his, hoping he'd offer her some sort of comfort. She noted the surprised look in his eyes before she spoke again. "Just came from there, it's all resolved I hope" she offered briefly.

"Donna" he said, in that way he reserved only for her, "I always listen to you". His voice was soft, vulnerable, and she was suddenly too aware of the dark circling his eyes. She stepped slightly towards him, taking the fact that he hadn't stepped away as a good sign.

Her eyes finally caught his.

He hated it; how he couldn't look away, how her intense gaze pierced through him, electrifying his body.

He noticed her eyes flicker in realization.

"What?" he asked his throat dry.

She wanted to say it; tell him that his eyes were her home, that they filled her with a sense of security. She choked on the words.

"Come here" she said instead, his body turning rigid when she put her hands on his chest.

He gave her an inquiring look, one she ignored as she shifted her attention to his tie, smoothly untying it. She tied it again, perfectly, meticulously, as Harvey struggled to keep his eyes off of her velvety lips and beautiful curves. Her fingers brushed against his neck as she fixed the collar of his shirt, her nails grazing his skin, as he felt a wave of heat inside of him.

Donna knew that this probably was the worst place to do it; standing in front of the elevators for everyone to see. But she just couldn't help it. She needed to **fix him** , since she currently couldn't fix the one thing she really wanted to – **them**

She smoothened the lapels of his suit resting her hands there as she raised her eyes to meet his. He wondered then if she could feel his heart beating through his chest; he sure as hell could feel her touch. She saw it in his eyes then, the walls coming up again. His body went rigid again, his eyes filled with confusion as he looked at her hands on his chest, before stepping away.

"I – I have a lot to do" he mumbled. It's been happening a lot lately, him not knowing what to say. He tried to ignore the hurt in her eyes as she bit on her lower lip and nodded silently. He wished it was that easy to, but he never was truly able to do that. He couldn't ignore her, even when she would tell him the things he wanted most not to hear. Because it was her, and he trusted that she had his best interest at heart. He only wished she knew he had hers as well.

He walked into his office, immediately opening one of the drawers of his desk to take some painkillers for the sharp headache he felt. He sat down on his chair in one quick movement, taking a deep breath before he adjusted his position. He hadn't lied – he had a lot to do. He decided to busy himself with work as much as possible; after all he soon wouldn't be working here anymore.

* * *

He saw a shade of red from the corner of his eyes but thought he was imagining it. He winced, trying to focus on the paper in his hand. Then he smelled her perfume, his brain shutting down immediately.

He looked up at her.

"Hey" she said softly, holding files in her hands. "Louis said you were asking for these" she said, walking hesitantly towards his desk. "I would've left them with Gretchen but she isn't here" she explained as she saw his eyes dart out to her old desk.

"That's fine. Thanks Donna" he said, offering the most honest smile he could muster.

His smile felt cold to her, forced, and it shattered her heart.

She nodded silently, fighting the tears forming in her eyes. She started walking outside his office, as Harvey's gaze followed her until she reached his door. She turned around then.

"Harvey" she called. It took every power in him not to hold her then, as he saw her glassy eyes. "Are we going to be ok?" she asked him, her voice breaking. She swallowed hard as she waited for his answer.

"Yes" he said with a small smile.

Somehow his tone lacked the usual conviction he always had. She tried to smile back, before she hastily walked away, her eyes burning from the trapped tears.

"Donna" he called out too low and too late.

* * *

After many hours of – surprisingly – acceptable focus, Harvey realized he would need coffee to be able to wrap up his work on that case. He had been working for twelve hours that day, something most employees at PSL were doing lately. He thought about Donna then, how he had made her cry, how fragile she looked. He decided to go to her and ask if she needed coffee. Maybe that would offer some sort of truce.

Not that he believed they needed one. They weren't even talking to say that they are fighting. He was hurt, there was no doubt, but he wasn't mad. Not anymore. He just needed time to process the whole thing and decide what to do, something he hasn't been able to accomplish since that day at the hospital. Not when the mere thought of her scattered every thought in his brain like a sea of stars.

She seemed to be leaving, as he caught her taking her purse.

His sight startled her.

"Are you leaving?" he asked her then.

She nodded. "Do you need something?" she asked him, unsure of what had brought him here.

"No I – I wanted to get some coffee, and figured you might need one. I thought since Louis is staying late that you would – " he explained. It was extremely frustrating, how he wasn't able to form a coherent sentence in her presence anymore.

He looked at her to see her turn slightly red.

"No I have a – I have to leave a bit early" she offered awkwardly as Harvey shook his head from side to side, painfully.

"You can say you have a date with Mitchell" he said sternly, trying to sound as calm as possible.

"Harvey" she called out, noticing how his eyes avoided hers.

"It's fine Donna" he stopped her before she could say more. He started walking towards the elevator, holding the door for her.

The ride down seemed longer than the morning one.

"It's not like that Harvey" Donna said somewhere between the 38th and 35th floor.

"What is not how Donna?" he asked her tired.

"It's not really a date" she said, as he snorted.

"You know, it's not even my business" he said then, sarcasm dripping from his mouth. "I don't know if you wouldn't tell me you had a date because you thought I'd sabotage it" he started saying, the tiredness of the whole day washing off on him.

"Of course I didn't thin tha-" she started before he stopped her again.

"Well you sure do seem to believe that I don't give a single fuck about hurting you so…" he argued as the tears formed in her eyes again.

She tried to speak but couldn't. He realized then he had unleashed all his emotions on her, and decided to regain some composure. He didn't mean for his next words to sound as cold and distant as they did.

"I really hope you have a good time at your date" he said, not looking at her.

Donna couldn't hold the tears anymore, as she silently bit on her lower lip, tears streaming down her face. It's only when the elevator reached the ground floor that he realized she was crying.

"Donna" he called out softly.

"You know it seems you really want me to cry today, so congrats" she said then between small sobs, quickly drying her tears, trying to regain control.

She watched his hand went up to her face, as she breathlessly waited for what was coming. He stopped right before his fingers could caress her cheek, his hand turning into a fist, before he retrieved it. He was struggling not to touch her.

"Donna" he breathed. "You know I can't take it when you cry" he whispered with a sincerity he saved for her only, his breath tickling her lips before he walked away.

She called Mitchell when she got home, canceling their date.

"Donna you've been pushing it for days" he nagged.

"You told me to call you when I'm ready. I'm not" she said a bit too harshly.

"I hope you will be soon, because maybe you're ok with doing that, but I can't wait for someone forever" Mitchell said. That comment stung.

* * *

 **I'm sorry about today** – a message in his drafts said.

 **I didn't go** – a message in her drafts said.

She fell asleep to her burning eyes and a wet pillow.

He fell asleep to his whiskey burned throat and what he would deny to be his own tears.

* * *

'Cause I don't wanna fall in love  
If you don't wanna try,  
But all that I've been thinking of  
Is maybe that you might  
Baby it looks as though we're running out of words to say  
And love's floating away

\- Say you love me by Jessie Ware

* * *

 _A.N: Hey guys! I hope you enjoyed reading this! Thanks for everyone who regularly reads/reviews this story, your feedback is an excellent motivator. Special thanks to AnonymousDH for introducing me to the song quoted here. Listen to it if you haven't :)_

 _Don't forget to drop a review._

 _-G_


	11. Chapter 11

It was his last day at Pearson Specter Litt, soon to be Pearson Litt. He had thought about how his last day of work would be a couple of months ago, and this is was as far as possible from his expectations.

He always thought he'd be older, leaving the firm because he was just too weary or had perhaps started a family. Most importantly his last day would have Donna in it. They would be married or about to, and they'd leave that firm just like they came; **together**. They'd sit in his office one last time looking over the New York skyline, drinking a glass of Macallan 25, reminiscing about their days there.

How **invincible** they were.

How he had realized **he was in love with her** one late night when she was helping him with a case, eating from that Shitty Thai food place she loved and filling him with the energy he needed to go on.

How she had **broken his trust** and how they got through it.

How she had **broken his heart** on that couch when she admitted she was involved with Stephen Huntley.

How he had **broken hers** with countless nameless figures.

How he had **told her he loved her** , then **messed it up**.

How **she had told him she loved him** , and **left him**.

How **they got through it**.

But he was **wrong**.

So it was no surprise when he walked into the firm that morning with the gloomiest mood he'd ever been in. He wordlessly nodded at Gretchen, who now knew better than to bother him. He wished Mike could do the same.

"So, last day huh?" Mike said delicately. It was his as well.

Harvey nodded, barely looking up.

"Bittersweet yeah?" he added, as Harvey nodded again, this time looking at him.

"I wanted to thank you" Mike started, before Harvey stopped him.

"Mike, we don't have to go through that again" he said, tired, as Mike nodded silently.

"Well I'm going to wrap up a case so I'll see you later?" he added hopefully.

"Sure" Harvey made the effort to response.

Mike walked towards the door stopping one last time.

"Are you ok?" he asked him.

Harvey felt a knot form in his throat.

"I'm fine kid" he managed to say, suddenly submerged with emotions.

Mike walked away, leaving his friend alone.

* * *

Donna could barely get out of bed that morning. It was that day. That day she dreaded for the last month. His last day.

She started crying, her pillow soaked with her tears, as she realized how she never thought he'd leave the firm, not when she's there. She remembered how mad she was when she found out he had decided to step down, how hurt she was that he didn't consult her.

But she understood.

She understood that talking about it would make it a thousand times more painful and that she probably would have begged him to stay.

She told him she was proud of him for putting the firm first.

And then he said those words that melted her heart, seemingly reading her mind.

 _Don't even think about leaving. I did this for you, it's all for you,_ he said. She didn't get the opportunity to ask what it meant, Louis had walked in, angry for not being consulted on the matter.

The explanation got lost along with all the hidden meaning of words and conversations buried in the back of their minds. She used to push him to talk about things, but not anymore. Not after pushing him for an answer drove them apart, not when she's afraid of the words that would be exchanged.

But as she got out of bed that morning, Donna decided not to allow that again. She was going to confront him about the words she had said back at the hospital, she was going to explain.

How, she still hadn't decided.

She walked into the firm with reddened eyes and a slightly hunched posture. She was met with pairs of apologetic and pitying eyes.

She was **the widow,** the one **he left behind**.

It didn't help that Rachel wore that same expression in her eyes when she approached her that morning.

"Hey Donn" she said quietly, offering her a small smile. "How you holding up?" she asked.

"I'm fine Rach" she said, her tone flat.

"Jessica wants to see you in her office" she told her then, as Donna nodded.

She knew what it would be about, she just wasn't sure she could hear it. She walked into her office, to find her seated on the couch, a drink in her hand.

"Isn't it too early for this?" Donna tried to joke, as Jessica smiled softly.

"This is no ordinary day" she explained, trying to read Donna's face. "Why don't you have a seat Donna?" she suggested, pointing to the space next to her.

She did as she was told.

"I wanted to ask you – "she started before Donna cut her.

"Look Jessica I'm sorry but I'm sick of hearing this question" Donna said a bit too agitated. She was sick of the constant reminder of him leaving. Not that she had forgotten.

"You don't know what I was going to say" Jessica said rationally, in a slightly more delicate tone than usual.

"You were going to ask how I was holding up, if I'm ok" Donna recited those words she had heard a few minutes ago.

"I know you're not" Jessica said matter-of-factly, as she met Donna's eyes. "I wanted to ask you if there's anything I could do to help" she explained.

Donna's relief was mixed with tears forming in her eyes.

"I'm sorry I just – I want to talk to him but he doesn't want to listen" Donna explained, a tear streaming down her right cheek.

"If there's one person he always listens to it's you, Donna" Jessica argued while Donna remembered his words.

 _I always listen to you_

"And he's never been easy at that so you just have to…make him" she continued, offering her a smile. Donna weakly smiled back, as she tasted her salty tears.

"It's stupid but I just never thought he'd leave here, not –" she started before stopping herself.

"Not without you" Jessica said rather than asked. Donna nodded, a questioning look in her eyes.

"I'm going to tell you a story you probably don't know" Jessica explained. "When Harvey came back here to get a job after working at the D.A's office, he had a condition. That you come with him" Jessica narrated as Donna's mouth dropped open.

"I told him that associates don't get secretaries. He said that it wasn't about him, it was about you" she continued.

"I- I don't understand" Donna said, tears streaming down her face.

"He wouldn't come here without you Donna" Jessica clarified. "I told him that you must be very special. He assured me that you were" she concluded with a tender smile. Jessica remembered how she knew then that Donna would be a big part of Harvey.

Donna reached for the box of tissues, as she couldn't control her tears anymore.

"This doesn't help" she joked, her laughter mixed with tears.

Jessica smiled affectionately.

"I just thought you should know" she said. "And let me offer you some unsolicited advice. I told Harvey when you left him that you and him are as close as two can be without actually being together" she started, Donna surprised by her honesty. "But what I didn't tell him was that you could. You should be together Donna. It didn't work out between me and Jeff because it wasn't a relationship based on honesty. But you two – I've never known any couple with that amount of trust, loyalty, honesty, affection. Maybe you're professional relationship ends today, but that doesn't mean there's nothing left. Together you're it. You should just tell him" she explained.

"Tell him what?" Donna asked, as Jessica quirked an eyebrow.

"I thought you're Donna, and you're supposed to know everything" she teased, as a small smile appeared on Donna's face.

"Tell him that you're in love with him Donna" she said, intensively looking into her eyes.

Donna held her gaze before she nodded silently, wiping away the last traces of tears from her cheeks.

"Thank you Jessica" Donna said honestly, standing up.

Jessica nodded, watching her walk away.

* * *

Harvey had finished his work but couldn't get himself to leave. So he put on one of his dad's records, pouring himself a glass of whiskey and staring at the skyline. Jessica had insisted that he and Mike pass by her office at 5 before leaving, something he dreaded doing. He knew that most of the employees would be there, and he was expected to make a speech.

He wondered now what he would say if he saw Donna's reflection in the glass window, just like he used to. He closed his eyes for a second, taking a deep breath before he heard the sound of heels.

He opened his eyes expecting to see red hair. He was shocked to see Scottie instead, walking towards him. He turned around to face her.

"Scottie, what are you doing here?" he asked not too harshly.

She smiled apologetically at him.

"So it really is true huh? You're leaving" she stated with sadness that her eyes conveyed.

"Stop gloating Dana" he joked, as she laughed softly. "The world of law will not be the same without you Harvey" she offered sincerely, as he took a sip from his drink, before leaving it on the table nearby.

"Thanks Scottie" he said.

"Have you told her?" she asked then, a sad smile dancing on her lips. He pretended not to understand.

"We never worked out not because you have issues; which you clearly do, but because you're in love with Donna" she said straightforwardly. He's surprised by her words.

"You know I'm sick of people talking to me about it as if they know what is going on" Harvey said a bit angry.

"It's tragic how neither of you can see it, when everyone around you does" Scottie said. "Maybe you're right and I don't know what is going on between you two, but we were together. And I was in love with you. I still am, and-"she choked on her words, tears forming in her eyes.

Harvey felt bad for her; he had never meant to hurt her.

"I thought everything was ok but then one day I saw it. The way you looked at her. I got it then. You loved her, and it was killing you. You won't get over her, Harvey, you can't" she continued, as Harvey listened to her every word. "You confided in me, you tried to show me emotions, but all I could see is how madly you and Donna were in love with each other – and I couldn't stand by and watch it. So I left" she said, finally explaining the real reason behind her going back to London.

"I'm sorry" he said, not knowing what else to say.

Dana smiled sadly.

"Maybe you are. But you would be a thousand times sorrier if you let her go. You were never a man of regrets, don't become one" she said. He nodded silently.

He watched her take a step close to him, her hands cupping both sides of his face, her thumb caressing his jaw.

"Good luck Harvey" she whispered, planting a long kiss on the corner of his mouth.

Donna had decided to confront Harvey in his office. But then she saw someone in there, making her stop dead in her tracks. It was Scottie. She had her back to her, and she could see Harvey listening to her as she said something. She then watched the petite woman caress his face, kissing him. She felt her heart shatter, her eyes immediately filling with tears, catching his before she stormed into the bathroom.

He decided to follow her, but was intercepted midway by Jessica.

"You should come to my office Harvey, everyone's waiting" she said, leading him by the arm.

He walked inside Jessica's office, where countless numbers of people stood, clapping. The sound of their claps seemed to be far away, as he could only focus on one thing: how she wasn't there. Jessica did a toast to new beginnings, Mike made Louis cry with his words, and then he saw her. She slipped between the crowds and stood near Rachel, her eyes red, avoiding his.

"Harvey, would you care to say a word" Jessica encouraged, as he snapped back to the reality surrounding him. He nodded, a tie forming in his throat, making it hard to talk.

He took a deep breath.

"A lot of you are wondering the reason behind my decision to step down" he started. Only a handful of people knew the reason. "My father once said to me, _you have to know when to leave a party_ , and I believe now is the right time. I genuinely leave here with good memories, and I wanted to thank you for making it such an amazing experience" he explained. His eyes drifted to Donna now.

"When I first came to Pearson Specter Litt, well it was actually Gordon Schmidt Van Dyke then; this place changes names too many goddamn times" he joked, as everyone laughed. "Point is, when I first came here, I wasn't the person I am today. And I never had thought that this place would turn into my home. I've known successes, failures, happiness, heartbreak, backstabbing, friendship and love" he enumerated, his eyes catching Donna's, as everyone noticed the exchange. Donna had tears in her eyes. "And I can with no hesitation call you all my twisted fucked up family" he said, making everyone laugh again. "Jessica, you've been a great mentor, a friend, some sort of mother to me" he said as Jessica interrupted him.

"Don't you dare call me old Harvey" she said with a big smile, that he tried to reciprocate.

"Louis" he said, as Louis looked up at him with teary eyes. "We may have our differences and disagreements, but know that I always have your back" he said as Louis tears started flowing.

"And last but certainly not least, Donna" he said, the knot in his throat tightening, as a silence fell in the room and they held each other's gaze. "I can't even begin to say or express what –" he said choking, realizing he wouldn't be able to do it without crying. So he stopped, raising his glass to everyone, and mouthing an inaudible thank you.

She walked out of the room in a hurry, heading to the bathroom again. He watched her leaving from the corner of his eyes, as he worked the room one last time, offering forced jokes and smiles at his soon to be ex co-workers.

He watched her coming back, standing outside Jessica's office, Rachel comforting her. He felt the need to hold her, to hear her tell him that everything is going to be ok.

"You're a fucking asshole" she told him when he approached her.

"What-?" he said, not expecting this. She walked away again.

He decided to call it a day, taking his suitcase and glancing at his office. He walked to Donna's desk to find that she too was getting ready to go home. He made sure they reached the elevator together.

"Donna" he whispered as they stood side by side.

"Just – don't" she said, angry.

"What did I do?" he asked, not understanding why she was mad at him.

She didn't answer, her grip tightening around the handle of her purse.

"You don't get to do that" he said, getting pissed himself.

She felt a wave of anger submerging her, as her body started shaking. She pulled the alarm of the elevator, stopping it in a halt.

"What the-" Harvey said, leaning on the wall behind him to lessen the sudden impact.

"YOU don't get to do that!" she shouted. "You don't get to refuse to listen to me, make ME feel bad about words that I DIDN'T even mean" she continued, tears forming in her eyes. "And then I come today to talk to you about it, to tell you that I believe the exact opposite – " she said, not able to continue. "But you were waiting for an opportunity to hook up with Scottie!" she laughed hysterically.

"What are you even-?" he said, before she stopped him again.

"No Harvey, I saw what I saw. And then you make that speech and you - I just thought that after that night things would be different. I was clearly wrong" she said, unable to hold her tears in. "So I'm going to go to dinner with Mitchell tonight, because I've wasted too much time crying over you Harvey" she concluded, hitting the stop button as the elevator started moving again.

"You've got this all wrong Donna" he said, his hand reaching for her arm. She got away from his grip, the elevator reaching the ground floor.

"Just let me go Harvey" she whispered, leaving the building in tears.

* * *

 _I tried and tried to let you know  
I love you but I'm letting go  
It may not last but I don't know  
Just don't know_

 _Every day,  
With every worthless word we get more far away  
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay  
Nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe  
It hurts but it may be the only way_

 _\- Nothing lasts forever by Maroon 5_

* * *

 _A.N: Hey guys! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Still angsty but I promise they WILL talk about it, soon. (next chapter)_

 _Let me know if you enjoyed reading this._

 _Your reviews for the last chapter made me update so quickly, although I should be preparing for my interview tomorrow, so keep'em coming :)_

 _Drop your review!_

 _-G_


	12. Chapter 12

Harvey left the firm angry, heading for his apartment as he decided that it was time he told her. Everything. He took a quick shower and dressed himself in casual blank pants and a loose turtleneck grey sweater, before calling Rachel.

"Rachel, do you know where Donna is?" he asked her quickly without explaining.

"What? Is something wrong?" she asked anxiously, stopping Mike from kissing her neck as she readjusted herself in bed. She and Mike had decided to celebrate, and she had promised him a homemade romantic dinner. They barely made it to bed.

"Can you tell me where her date with Mitchell is?" he repeated impatiently.

"No but I can find out" she offered, still worried.

"Please do" he said before hanging up, looking at himself in the mirror.

 _This is it Specter,_ he thought to himself, trying to take a deep breath. His phone buzzed in his pocket, reading a message from Rachel.

 **Lincoln Square Steak, she's there.**

Harvey realized then that Mitchell knew people. It wasn't easy to get a reservation at that place, especially last minute. It was a fancy place, delicious food, great service, and literally one minute away from his place. His stomach churned from nervousness, as he swallowed thick.

 _Don't play the odds, play the man,_ is what he always said. But right now he was doing exactly the opposite of that. He knew nothing of his competition, but then again this was no game at all. He was playing the odds, hoping for the best, preparing himself to make a big declaration in one of the busiest restaurants of New York City.

He took a deep breath, nodding to himself in the mirror, before he walked out of his own apartment, trying not to think about what he would say. No censorship, no thinking, just words; that was his plan. But he knew he had underestimated the situation when he spotted her on a table in the corner of the restaurant, wearing a black overall with a thin silver belt, laughing about something Mitchell was saying. He knew that his plan wasn't solid at all when he stood next to her, unable to form a coherent sentence.

"What are you doing here Harvey?" she asked him, her voice a mix of hurt and surprise.

"Uhm I – I wanted to talk to you" he answered nervously.

"Can't it wait? I'm in the middle of something" her voice turned icy, her eyes avoiding his. Mitchell didn't look comfortable at all, caught up in the middle.

"No, I just need to say it" he pressed.

"Then go ahead" she mocked when he wouldn't say anything. She noticed then how nervous he really was, his hands sweaty as he tried to dry them, rubbing them on the side of his pants.

"A couple of weeks ago, Mike asked why I didn't try having a relationship with you" he started, "and I told him that you were seeing somebody"

"I am, but we both know that's a shitty excuse Harvey. You could've approached me during what? Oh right, the last twelve years" she said angrily.

"I know, just – please let me finish" he begged, and she nodded silently for him to continue.

"And when I told him that you had made a choice, he said something to me" he continued. "He told me that you can't make a choice if you don't know the options you have; and he was right. I never was clear about where we stand" he said, choosing his words carefully, as Donna's lips started slightly trembling.

"I realize that my use of words isn't typical; you know it's not easy for me to talk about how I feel. So here's a little translation of everything I've been saying to you the last twelve years Donna. When I told you that you weren't **just a pretty face** , it meant that I was captivated by your beauty and how smart and witty you are, only one minute after meeting you. When I said that I didn't want to find out **what kind of lawyer** I would be without you, it meant much more" he continued, his voice unsteady.

"Being a lawyer is who I am. I meant to say that you always were the better part of me, and I don't want to lose that. **I can't be me without you** , remember?" he laughed nervously, while Donna's mouth was slightly ajar, in shock. "When I asked you if it was **about you** , I wanted to hear you say yes. When I said that it bothered me **you and Stephen** , it meant that I was fucking jealous. And it was a **dual** Donna, but you already knew that" he continued, the words flowing from his mouth, without any control over them.

"When I asked if you wanted **everything** , I wished you'd said yes. And when I told you I loved you" he breathed heavily.

"Harvey please" she begged him to stop, knowing that she wasn't ready to hear this, not this way, not there.

"No let me finish. When I say 'I love you', it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity what you are. You're a hell of a person Donna. And I'm in love with you, **I love you** " he repeated, out of breath as if he had run a marathon.

Donna's tears started streaming down her face. She watched him looking as vulnerable as she had ever seen him, outside his suit, outside his armor.

"But you've met Mitchell. And you're happy. He seems like a good guy Donna, he does" he whispered weakly, awkwardly pointing at him. "There's nothing I want more than to be with you Donna, but there's nothing that makes me happier than to see you happy. So what I'm trying to say is that it's ok if you don't choose me" he explained, his voice cracking.

"I know that I can be selfish, but I need you to believe me when I say that your happiness is enough, it's always been. So when I heard you back at the hospital" he continued.

"I didn't mean that" she barely was able to say.

"It hurt me, how you thought I could hurt you; it's the last thing I would want. Nothing happened with Scottie Donna, she was giving me a hard time about YOU, telling me I should go after you, and for once she was right" he explained with a sad smile

"So here it is: I'm in love with you Donna. I can't promise you everything, but I can tell you that I would give you the world if I could" he finished.

Donna just stared at him, unable to speak. Mitchell coughed awkwardly, as Harvey thought of making a joke about her inability to form words, but he couldn't form his own. He snapped out of his haze at her silence, taking a step back. He felt the room shrink, the loose turtleneck suddenly to tight around his throat. He knew he was having a panic attack and needed to get out of there as soon as possible.

"I'm sorry. I'm obviously intruding" he said politely, swallowing thickly before getting his feet to move in the direction of the door. All he could hear were far voices and all he could see were blurry visions.

He wasn't sure how he made it to his apartment, feeling the walls of the elevator closing in. He opened the door, walking fast towards the bathroom, kneeling next to the toilet. He was going to threw up, he just knew it. He felt a wave of nausea hitting him, before he sensed a touch on his back, hers. He could recognize her touch even with hundreds of layers standing between her fingers and his skin. He glanced to the right, seeing shades of red to confirm his doubts.

"Just go" he was able to say. He didn't want her to watch him crumbling down, to know how broken he really was. She didn't say a word, tears streaming down her face as she caressed his back up and down in a soothing motion, still feeling his irregular and hitched breath.

"Donna" he was barely able to say, noticing how the nauseating feeling had started to dissipate.

"No. I'm not going" she said in tears. "I need you to look at me" she said, as he shook his head refusing to. He couldn't see her cry. She tried to wipe her tears quickly, sitting on the bathroom floor next to him, positioning herself so he could see her.

"Harvey, look at me" she repeated, making his gaze shift to her. "It's ok" she whispered, carefully dragging him towards her so that he was no longer on his knees, but sitting in front of her instead. Both of her hands went to his shoulders, making their way down to his arms, stopping at the elbows. Her eyes were frantically searching for his.

He tried to say something, his breath hitching even further, choking on air as she silenced him.

"Shush harv, you don't need to say anything" she said, trying to comfort him, realizing his eyes were filling with tears. She noticed how sweaty he was.

"Let's get you out of this sweater ok?" she suggested, her hands carefully removing it above his head, leaving him in a soaked white beater shirt.

"I need you to breathe with me can you do that?" she asked him, her voice trembling. He barely nodded, and she brought his head to the space between her neck and shoulder, one of her hands wrapped around his shoulder, the other holding his head from the hairline above his neck. Their legs were tangled, her fingers caressing his neck and his hair, her fingers scraping his back.

"Just follow my rhythm" she said encouragingly, slowing her breathing so he could follow it. She then felt something on her neck, moisture. Her heart broke when she realized he was crying, while Harvey closed his eyes, letting the tears formed in his eyes to escape, trying to follow her pace.

"Shh – you're doing great, you're ok" she whispered into his ear, before kissing the side of his head, just above it. "You're ok" she repeated, realizing his breath was regularizing.

She could pinpoint it, the moment he was back to the normal state. But she still held him in her arms, inhaling his scent, her fingers massaging his scalp.

He pulled away then, resting his back on the side of the bathtub, a hand wresting on his bent knee. She sat next to him, both of them not saying a word.

"I'm sorry" he said, breaking the silence. She was surprised by his statement, shifting her head to her left, looking at him.

"What for?" she asked.

"Ruining your date, ruining your dress" he said shrugging.

She smiled then, a one-sided smile that had him wonder what it was about.

"You're just such an idiot sometimes" she said, as they both laughed softly.

A silence fell again, before she looked at him with concern.

"Is it always that bad?" she asked, referring to the panic attack.

"What this stupid thing? It's nothing" he tried to joke to lighten the mood up.

She smiled sadly, tears falling down her cheeks.

"Come on Donn, don't cry. I'm ok" he said, wrapping an arm around her as she leaned into him.

"I'm so, so, so sorry" she said, between sobs.

"Hey! hey, you don't have to be sorry for anything" he told her, his hand reaching for her cheek. He tugged a lock of hair behind her ears, his reddened eyes staring into hers.

"I'm exhausted" he whispered, hanging his head down, taking his hands off of her.

"I'll make you something to eat" she suggested.

"You can cook?" he asked with disbelief, making her lightly hit him on the arm.

She stood up, offering him her hand, pulling him up.

She held his hand all the way to the kitchen, seating him down in one of the high chairs, before removing her heels. She washed her hands and started preparing a salad. He watched her working, her back to him, before busying himself with opening a bottle of wine.

They sat down, and she watched him eat the salad she made.

"This is delicious" he commented, offering her a tired smile. "Donna, I'm ok. You're here" he reassured her, the concern clear in her eyes as she watched his every move.

She felt her heart constrict in her chest.

"Let's get you to bed" she said, making her way to his bedroom.

He followed her, watching her grab a pair of shorts from his closet. He took his white beater off, revealing his toned body, the one she tried hard not to stare at, before getting out of his pants and wearing the shorts she handed him. She turned off the lights.

He slipped under the sheets, as she tugged him in, a small affectionate smile on her face.

"Goodnight Harvey, I'll come here tomorrow morning to check on you" she said, her hand caressing his forehead, as he fought the heaviness of his eyelids.

"Don't go" he whispered, his tone begging. "Just stay, lie next to me" he repeated, reaching for her hand.

She nodded silently, getting herself out of her overall and into one of his t-shirt, before she slipped next to him on the bed. He shifted his weight to his side, watching her with a content smile on his face, thinking about how he would want her face to be the last thing he sees every night.

"What I said tonight- " he stated, before she cut him, leaning on her side to face him.

"We don't have to talk about this tonight" she whispered. Part of her was terrified he would take it back.

"I meant every word" he whispered, his breath tickling her skin.

She smiled at him, wrapping her hand around his waist, bringing herself closer to him. She buried her face in his neck.

"Goodnight Harvey" she whispered.

"Goodnight Donn" he said back.

* * *

 _And when I feel like there is no one that will ever know me  
there you are to show me_

Cause when I look to the sky something tells me you're here with me  
And you make everything alright  
And when I feel like I'm lost something tells me you're here with me  
And I can always find my way when you are here

 _\- When I look to the sky, Train_

* * *

 _A.N: Sorry for the long wait. I hope you enjoy this chapter._

 _Thanks for reading, and don't forget to drop a review._

 _-G_


	13. Chapter 13

He woke up with a pounding headache, but a feeling of peace he hadn't felt in a very long time. He opened his eyes to find the spot where Donna had slept empty, fear rising in his chest at the prospect of her leaving. He then noticed a note next to him.

 _Went to get some breakfast, didn't want to wake you up._

 _-D_

He smiled at the words, relaxing back in his bed, his hand caressing the empty space next to him. He heard the door open, knowing that she had arrived, before he saw her silhouette by the bedroom door.

"Morning sleepy head" she said with a smile, leaning on the doorframe. She had put on a sweater of his, and it fit her perfectly. She watched him with his sleepy eyes and messy hair, taking in how adorable he looked in the morning, how fragile.

"Hey" he's able to say, his voice still hoarse.

"Sleep well?" she asked, walking towards him as he noticed the cup of water in her hand.

"Very" he answers with a smile. She stopped next to him, handing him an Advil and the glass of water. He didn't even ask how she knew.

"Come on wash up and we'll have breakfast. I'm waiting for you" she encouraged him, before walking towards the kitchen. She took the bagels out of the bags, arranging them on a plate and setting two or them, before pouring the freshly squeezed orange juice in two glasses.

She wouldn't want to admit it, but sleeping next to him was a far different experience than she had expected. She felt at peace, she felt comfortable; she was safe. She remembered how his hand held her close by the waist, how they had somehow ended up spooning, feeling his breath on her neck when she woke up in the middle of the night.

"Earth to Donna" he said timidly, watching her think.

"Sorry" she said, realizing she had been staring at the empty chair.

She sat down and he followed, sitting facing her.

"My favorite bagels" he said with a smile, his eyes thanking her with the sparkle she loved.

"I got orange juice. We can get coffee on our way out" she babbled.

"Are we…going somewhere?"he asked hesitant.

"Oh, I don't why I just assumed we'd be going somewhere after that. It's silly really" she said so quickly, cursing her mind for not censoring her words.

"We could" he said with a sincere smile, as she found herself slightly blushing.

He dived into his first bagel, Cinnamon Crunch Bagel.

"This is delicious" he said, finishing it in a minute. "Which one are you having?" he eyed her curiously.

"Cherry Vanilla" she said, seeing his eyes spark. "Uh-uh. You are not stealing my bagel" she said, moving her finger in a refusing motion.

"Come on, just a bite!" he begged. "What do you want in return?" he asked, seeing that negotiating look in her eyes.

"Your blueberry bagel" she said without hesitation.

"A bite" he negotiated.

"All of it" she insisted.

"Fine" he said with a pout.

He was supposed to be New York's best closer, yet he finds himself unable to argue his way out of a paper bag when it comes to her. She always won the negotiation.

She took it from his plate with a victorious smile, as he watched her bite on the blueberry bagel.

"Hmmm" he heard her moan, suddenly feeling hot. He tasted her bagel too.

"This is not bad" he admitted.

"You know what would taste good?" she asked then not expecting an answer. "Mixing cherry vanilla and blueberry" she said, tasting her own suggestion.

"Try it" she said, extending both her hands, with one bagel in each.

"Oh so now you're sharing?" he teased her.

"Take a bit before I change my mind" she said, quirking an eyebrow. He did as she told him.

"Delicious" he agreed.

They finished eating and drinking, a small silence settling between them. They both felt the weight of the words they were waiting for.

"Let's go to the park" Harvey suggested, breaking the silence.

She seemed surprised by his suggestion.

"If you have something to do it's ok" she said, unsure if he really wanted to or just didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable about her earlier words.

"I have nothing Donna" he says, a bit too defeated. _Except you,_ he thought.

His words hurt her. She wanted to say he has her, always. "That's not true" she said instead. "I should pass by my place first though, change. Then we can walk to the park" she explained.

He nodded, calling Ray.

They shared a silent car ride to her place. "I'll wait for you here" he said, standing outside her building door.

"Come up" she suggested, "it's cold"

"It's ok" he repeated.

She didn't insist, she knew her apartment had become associated with intense moments.

"I'll make it quick" she reassured him, as he nodded.

She came back five minutes later, wearing a light jacket and yoga pants with UGGS boots.

"Ready?" he said with a nervous smile as she nodded

They walked silently, their shoulders bumping from time to time.

He stopped at a coffee cart near the park, ordering two coffees, hers the way she liked it. He noticed how her hands were shivering, his thoughts confirmed by her words.

"I should've brought my gloves" she muttered between her teeth.

He took her hands in his, rubbing her skin for warmth, watching her examine their hands with precaution.

"What are you doing?" she asked him, when he brought her hands to the pockets of his jacket.

"You don't have pockets, put them in mine" he encouraged.

"It's ok" she whispered, not wanting their bodies to be so close.

"Donna" he said, tilting his head, hers mirroring him.

"Harvey" she said in the same tone, before finally giving in. She slipped her hands in his pockets, immediately enjoying the warmth of the soft fabric. He watched her closely, assessing his next steps, before he slipped his hands inside his pockets, holding hers. She didn't object, a sign he took positively, watching her relax, resting her head on his chest.

He wished the coffees weren't ready so quickly, breaking their moments.

They broke their embrace, grabbing the warm cup of coffees and walking inside the park. They settled down on a quiet bench, watching the people passing by.

"What do you want to do now that- "she started, not sure how to finish the sentence.

"I'm unemployed" he continued, a sad smile on his lips.

"You're not unemployed. You just have time to do whatever the hell you want. Maybe start your company" she said, encouraging.

"Nah" he shrugged it off, his finger tracing patterns on the hot material of the coffee cup. "I feel like taking some time off" he explained.

She seemed surprised by his statement.

"Maybe I'll rent a cabin in the woods, spend a year there in solitary, grow a beard" he said from the top of his head, watching her giggle.

"You would look hot" she slipped, an amused smirk on her face when she saw his surprise.

"I'd be lonely as hell" he said more to himself than to her. "Did you just admit you think that I'm hot." he teased her.

"I did not" she negated. "I said you WOULD if you grow a beard" she admitted.

"I never knew you were into beards" he admitted, surprised.

"Would it have made a difference?" she asked with disbelief.

"It would've" he confirmed, a silence dawning on them once again before she spoke.

"Seriously though" he said, his tone serious now, "I want to take some time off, focus on important things" he said, angling his body towards her, his eyes now catching hers.

She swallowed slowly, her mouth slightly ajar, her lip trembling. He realized then how similar it was to that time at her place, when he told her he loved her than fucked it up. It was similar yet different. He was telling her yet again that she was important to him, that she was different. Last time was at her place at night, with wine glasses. This time was in broad daylight, in a public space, with coffee instead.

But most importantly this time, if given the chance, he was not running away.

"Harvey" she whispered, unsure of what to say.

"Look I know you haven't had time to think about what I said, but about that" he started, as she felt her chest constricting. She feared he was going to take it back, that he was going to crush her again. She wondered if that's how a panic attack would feel, before she heard his words.

"I want you to know that I meant every single word I said" he said, the sincerity in his eyes melting her heart. "And maybe I still can't answer HOW I love you the way you want me to, but I told you I'm in love with you. And I don't think I can have love for anyone in my heart more than I have for you" he confessed, his eyes moving to his hands again.

She left the cup of coffees between her knees, hers hands reaching for his around his cup.

"Harvey, look" she started, but his mind was already racing.

Her tone was apologetic. She didn't want him, she didn't want it, and she didn't want them.

"I promised myself a long time ago not to put myself in situations where I end up hurt – and that meant waiting for you" she started, seeing the sadness in his eyes. "But then you said those things you said to me after you saved me and… everything I had worked for the last twelve years disappeared into thin air" she continued. "Every doubt I ever had about us, every 'Maybe' I ever had was stirred inside of me, and then you shut me out again" she explained.

"Donna I know I will never communicate my feelings the way other guys would, the way Mitchell probably does, and the friend part in me want to tell you not to get involved with me, but I also don't think anyone loves you as much as I do, and the way I do – even if I can't even explain how" he started speaking fast, not noticing the huge grin on her face, leaving his cup of coffee on the ground next to him.

He was fighting for her, he was doing the thing she had always wanted him to do.

* * *

" _And I'm so sick of watching you fight like hell for everything that happens in here" , she had said pointing to the office, "and nothing that happens in here", she had explained, overwhelmed with emotion, her hands resting on her chest._

" _Is this about you?" he had asked her._

" _No"_

 _She had lied._

* * *

"Cut the crap Harvey" she said, his head snapping in surprise at her words. "Stop using that friendship shit with me" she said with honesty. "We never were just friends" she clarified, "and now let me continue" she bossed him around, and he complied, nodding silently.

"You shut me out again and I was done. I was hurt, I felt stupid" she explained, her voice slightly cracking. He wanted to tell her he's the idiot and not her. "But then I watched you evolve" she whispered. "Those five months Harvey, you've turned into what I always saw in you. And I tried to fight it, tried to tell myself that you weren't going to hurt me again" she continued, "until last night. Never in a million years would I have believed that you would do what you did. And what you said, I know how hard it was for you to say it"

"What are you saying?" he asked, his eyes looking frantically for hers.

"I'm saying that I want this. I want to try. But I want you to promise me something. I want you to promise that you'll never shut me out again, that you'll talk to me. That when things get bad, you'll work your way through them. You'd go have a session with Agard…" she explained, before he cut her.

"And make up sex?" he asked.

"Tons of make up sex" she giggled. "Because I've always been in love with you Harvey" she said, enjoying how his thumb drew circles on her skin, "but if you shut me out one more time, I'll break" she admitted so low, sounding so fragile that he wanted to hit himself for hurting her so many times. Her eyes were watery.

"I promise" he whispered, his hands holding hers tightly, his eyes looking deep into hers. "I promise" he repeated, their foreheads resting against each other.

"Kiss me you fool" she murmured, her breath tickling his lips.

"About damn time" he said with a grin, before his lips touched hers.

He kissed her softly, slowly, his hands cupping her face, as hers rested on his forearms. He held her like she was made out of porcelain, and gave attention to every inch of her skin, making her moan into his mouth. She swore she could feel his smile on her lips. She bit on his lower lip, surprising him, before she granted him access to her mouth, making way for his tongue to slip between her teeth. Her arms came up around his neck and he pulled her against him. His hands flattened against her back, and she was leaning into him, kissing him as fiercely as he was kissing her. He clung to her more tightly, knotting his hands in her hair, trying to tell her all the things he could never say out loud.

They pulled away for air, looking at each other, her with rosy cheeks, him with lust in his eyes.

"I've always wanted to do it in the file room" she blurted out with a mischievous smile.

He quirked an eyebrow, thinking of how much he loved that woman, before standing up fast.

"Only if we make a stop on my old desk" he suggested, watching her hands on his phone.

"I texted Ray" she said, following him, while he looked at her with adoration.

"I love you" he said.

"I know" she teased, slipping her fingers between his.

* * *

 _A.N: First of all thanks for reading this, and for all the reviews on the past chapter. I'm sorry it took a while to update, I was lacking inspiration._

 _The fic COULD end here, or an epilogue could be added where (maybe) the title choice would be explained._

 _Let me know what you think of this chapter, and on whether I should add that epilogue._

 _Thanks for sticking around,_

 _Drop a review :)_

 _-G_


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